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beaverjuice

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Happily never after - again
« on: July 24, 2016, 06:12:05 pm »
http://women.asiaone.com/women/relationships/happily-never-after-again



But one lawyer, who declined to be named, has a client going through his fourth divorce.

The man, a professional in his 50s, has a drug addiction problem and a violent temper and that could be why his marriages kept souring, the lawyer said.

What counsellors say these divorcees have in common is this: the tendency to blame their spouses for the unhappy marriage without realising their part in contributing to the marital breakdown.

So they repeat the same problematic behaviour or take their emotional baggage from their first marriage with them to their subsequent unions, which could lead to another split.

Mrs Juliana Toh, clinical director of the Counselling and Care Centre, said: "A marital breakdown is never due to just one person.

"If you don't make sense of your part in it, chances are you will repeat the same pattern of behaviour in your next marriage. You need to address the losses from your first marriage first."

Those interviewed also point out that some rush into a second marriage for various reasons. For example, they could be lonely and they want a new spouse to help them care for their young children.

After the honeymoon ends, they realise they are not all that compatible or the difficulties of a blended family with stepchildren and ex-spouses to deal with sink in.

The rising numbers also point to the challenges faced by those in second or subsequent marriages, such as the difficulties of step-parenting, sociologist Paulin Straughan noted.

« Last Edit: July 24, 2016, 06:15:00 pm by beaverjuice »
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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poo42

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Re: Happily never after - again
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2016, 06:46:14 pm »
Some are just not meant to get married

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chiasmus

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Re: Happily never after - again
« Reply #2 on: July 24, 2016, 06:57:18 pm »
The man, a professional in his 50s, has a drug addiction problem and a violent temper and that could be why his marriages kept souring, the lawyer said.
I wonder if the women knew about his drug problem before marriage.


Those interviewed also point out that some rush into a second marriage for various reasons. For example, they could be lonely and they want a new spouse to help them care for their young children.

After the honeymoon ends, they realise they are not all that compatible or the difficulties of a blended family with stepchildren and ex-spouses to deal with sink in.

I think that guy on tinder should read this..
洪荒之力 >> ding ding dong dong pew pew pew pew

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beaverjuice

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Re: Happily never after - again
« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2016, 09:37:49 pm »
I wonder if the women knew about his drug problem before marriage.
I think that guy on tinder should read this..

You mean @ahgirl izziiiiiitttt? ???
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."


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chiasmus

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Re: Happily never after - again
« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2016, 10:20:29 am »
You mean @ahgirl izziiiiiitttt? ???
ah yes.. the ahgirl who was actually an ahboy.
洪荒之力 >> ding ding dong dong pew pew pew pew

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ahgirl

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Re: Happily never after - again
« Reply #5 on: July 25, 2016, 09:25:25 pm »
ah yes.. the ahgirl who was actually an ahboy.

I'm here. Someone summoned me.

Why do I need to read that article? Do you think the reason in tinder was because I'm partially at fault?

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carnivoreme

Re: Happily never after - again
« Reply #6 on: July 25, 2016, 10:30:14 pm »
I'm here. Someone summoned me.

Why do I need to read that article? Do you think the reason in tinder was because I'm partially at fault?

haha dont over think! people here are very teasing lol

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chiasmus

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Re: Happily never after - again
« Reply #7 on: July 26, 2016, 12:18:58 am »
I'm here. Someone summoned me.

Why do I need to read that article? Do you think the reason in tinder was because I'm partially at fault?
Not the whole article lah, this is the part I highlighted out.  And I'm not saying it's your fault either, just providing insights from professionals who've seen their share of people who remarry.

Those interviewed also point out that some rush into a second marriage for various reasons. For example, they could be lonely and they want a new spouse to help them care for their young children.

After the honeymoon ends, they realise they are not all that compatible or the difficulties of a blended family with stepchildren and ex-spouses to deal with sink in.


« Last Edit: July 26, 2016, 12:21:32 am by chiasmus »
洪荒之力 >> ding ding dong dong pew pew pew pew

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ahgirl

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Re: Happily never after - again
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2016, 08:36:38 pm »
Not the whole article lah, this is the part I highlighted out.  And I'm not saying it's your fault either, just providing insights from professionals who've seen their share of people who remarry.

Those interviewed also point out that some rush into a second marriage for various reasons. For example, they could be lonely and they want a new spouse to help them care for their young children.

After the honeymoon ends, they realise they are not all that compatible or the difficulties of a blended family with stepchildren and ex-spouses to deal with sink in.


Now I get a clear picture of what you trying to say. :)

Yup I do agree with the article. Thanks.

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SamPeterson

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Re: Happily never after - again
« Reply #9 on: April 05, 2017, 02:45:29 pm »
Some people are not meant to get married.