*

beaverjuice

  • *****
  • Global Moderator
  • 6709 12
  • Road to Perdition
    • View Profile
Re: Relationship problems and advice
« Reply #15 on: June 05, 2017, 04:40:01 pm »
dear confusion,
why not try taking a holiday together? ???
that way, he is no excuse but to sit down with you and confront the issue squarely?

higher meaning in life is his career? you've gotta be joking right?
I haven't heard of anyone on his death-bed reminiscing about his career .... they'll be talking about their regrets in relationships or how happy they were with their loved ones.  no dying person talks about how much they've achieved in their career or the riches they have amassed.

maybe he can justify why such online articles are baseless and stupid?
i'm sure he has some insights from his previous relationships to counter those "stupid" articles?
wait .... you're his first girlfriend right?

wishing you well,
uncle BJ

PS:  avoidance and sweeping things under the carpet is a strategy used by the immature in relationships .... I hope his insights on relationships is not so blinkered
« Last Edit: June 05, 2017, 04:51:48 pm by beaverjuice »
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

*

happyshar

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 2282 16
    • View Profile
Re: Relationship problems and advice
« Reply #16 on: June 06, 2017, 01:34:13 am »
His friend doesn't have any physical affairs but is currently head over heels with one of the new interns. They share their secret fantasies about that girl but I reckon his friend likes her more than my fiance does.

wow this last paragraph is stunning. no wonder he enjoys work so much and spends a lot of time at work just to be with this fantasy girl  :o
What Do you call, a person with sympathy but zero empathy?

*

Piglet

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 1741 11
    • View Profile
Re: Relationship problems and advice
« Reply #17 on: June 30, 2017, 02:45:35 pm »
you should stop WA him,. close the door on him. treat him as transparent. if he is ok with it. does not feel there a problem. time to give up all ur investment in $$ and time,

*

beaverjuice

  • *****
  • Global Moderator
  • 6709 12
  • Road to Perdition
    • View Profile
Re: Relationship problems and advice
« Reply #18 on: June 30, 2017, 02:53:29 pm »
you should stop WA him,. close the door on him. treat him as transparent. if he is ok with it. does not feel there a problem. time to give up all ur investment in $$ and time,

I think she too soft-hearted .... which is also the root of the problem - reason why he treats her like a doormat ... :(
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."


*

Piglet

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 1741 11
    • View Profile
Re: Relationship problems and advice
« Reply #19 on: June 30, 2017, 02:59:30 pm »
I think she too soft-hearted .... which is also the root of the problem - reason why he treats her like a doormat ... :(

if ownself wan to be doormat than so be it. you yourself make the choice. unlike classmate/friend. hub or wife is someone that you cannot anyhow change.

if the bf got key to the house I suggest, change the house key without him knowing since he did not want to inform TS about thing. so let him had that taste too. and if the bf turn violent, after such desperate method is begin deploy. better break up
« Last Edit: June 30, 2017, 03:05:49 pm by Piglet »

*

beaverjuice

  • *****
  • Global Moderator
  • 6709 12
  • Road to Perdition
    • View Profile
Re: Relationship problems and advice
« Reply #20 on: July 01, 2017, 10:17:26 am »
if ownself wan to be doormat than so be it. you yourself make the choice. unlike classmate/friend. hub or wife is someone that you cannot anyhow change.

if the bf got key to the house I suggest, change the house key without him knowing since he did not want to inform TS about thing. so let him had that taste too. and if the bf turn violent, after such desperate method is begin deploy. better break up

it is difficult to see when you're deep in the relationship compared with someone who is looking from the outside in ....

incurable die-hard romantic always die pain-pain ....  面对现实吧 !!!

"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

*

skinnyjeans

Re: Relationship problems and advice
« Reply #21 on: July 02, 2017, 10:17:23 pm »
Will we end up the same as his friend's wife who feels like their children (and her) are neglected? Will our constant fights over the same thing affect the children and us? I have so many doubts.. I hope someone with a busy spouse can offer real adv on how you deal with it because right now, he wants to have kids and expects me to raise the kids on my own (wants no part in going to any doctors, wants them to go for enrichment lessons but doesn't want to bring them etc). I don't know if I'm prepared for such a family life...

TS, thanks for sharing. i saw your post and feel to share this with you.

guys always get corrupted coz of bad influences and negative friends.
difficult to advise you... because not sure of your EQ and ability to sway and influence people. If you can, slowly inject poison about his negative friends.
Not directly say his friends are wrong, its slowly.... and maybe praise his friends in the beginning. thats why i said hard to advise online.

But friends are really important. sigh.... hope u can be strong, and keep sharing here, then we see what we can advise on case-by-case situation.

*

beaverjuice

  • *****
  • Global Moderator
  • 6709 12
  • Road to Perdition
    • View Profile
Re: Relationship problems and advice
« Reply #22 on: July 02, 2017, 10:39:38 pm »
TS, thanks for sharing. i saw your post and feel to share this with you.

guys always get corrupted coz of bad influences and negative friends.
difficult to advise you... because not sure of your EQ and ability to sway and influence people. If you can, slowly inject poison about his negative friends.
Not directly say his friends are wrong, its slowly.... and maybe praise his friends in the beginning. thats why i said hard to advise online.

But friends are really important. sigh.... hope u can be strong, and keep sharing here, then we see what we can advise on case-by-case situation.

Ermmmm ... if she's okay to be a doormat,  i doubt it is easy for her to suddenly bring to bear her EQ to charm and influence her fiance's frens bah?  ???

"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

*

BrianVinyard

  • *
  • Fresh Petal
  • 5 0
    • View Profile
Re: Relationship problems and advice
« Reply #23 on: September 16, 2017, 04:45:47 pm »
Relationship problems have become very common these days. My sister is married and now her husband wants divorce. We are looking for some good lawyer for her from the internet. I suggested her about the lawyer Bechara Tarabay. I think every couple must solve their problems on their own so that they do not have relationship issues.

*

beaverjuice

  • *****
  • Global Moderator
  • 6709 12
  • Road to Perdition
    • View Profile
Re: Relationship problems and advice
« Reply #24 on: September 16, 2017, 09:59:08 pm »
Only cowards take the easy way out thru divorce ... what happened to marriage vows? ??? Superfluous?
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

*

IreviewUread

  • ***
  • Petal
  • 350 4
  • Trust me, I'm a blogger ;)
    • View Profile
Re: Relationship problems and advice
« Reply #25 on: October 19, 2017, 01:38:33 am »
Only cowards take the easy way out thru divorce ... what happened to marriage vows? ??? Superfluous?

These days marriage is just a word. A lot couples CMI will just be like divorce. Sad.

*

beaverjuice

  • *****
  • Global Moderator
  • 6709 12
  • Road to Perdition
    • View Profile
Re: Relationship problems and advice
« Reply #26 on: October 19, 2017, 12:36:52 pm »
These days marriage is just a word. A lot couples CMI will just be like divorce. Sad.

it is the generation of "instant gratification", more likely to cut-lose when troubles are a-brewing ....
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

*

Piglet

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 1741 11
    • View Profile
Re: Relationship problems and advice
« Reply #27 on: October 19, 2017, 03:16:44 pm »
well, if one want to be a doormat than don't complain. A selfish guy will never be a gd father and gd hubby. and the one that suffer the most isn't the wife (she deserved it as she choose to married the guy and be doormat) but the kids

*

happyshar

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 2282 16
    • View Profile
Re: Relationship problems and advice
« Reply #28 on: October 20, 2017, 12:54:13 am »
Seems like coz you are always there for him, waiting for him, keeping tabs on him .. caring for him .. he has taken you for granted .. nothing Will help the situation if these actions are continued or increase in intensity. He already know your pattern and destined to take advantage of it. He has you in control and free to invest fully in anything else he is interested in.

Sometimes the way to reverse it is deprivation. Being firm in depriving too. A person only truly knows the presence when he has lost something. Be busy with friends. Keep yourself occupied. Give him less of your time. Less of your concern. Be less helpful. Then when he comes find you can have a HTHT. If you have a HTHT before this deprivation, it might be disregarded as a nag / white noise. Sometimes have to take back some power in the relationship. If you give him what he needs and wants without him doing any work, then he wouldn't do anything.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2017, 01:00:11 am by happyshar »
What Do you call, a person with sympathy but zero empathy?

*

Piglet

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 1741 11
    • View Profile
Re: Relationship problems and advice
« Reply #29 on: October 20, 2017, 09:51:50 am »
Seems like coz you are always there for him, waiting for him, keeping tabs on him .. caring for him .. he has taken you for granted .. nothing Will help the situation if these actions are continued or increase in intensity. He already know your pattern and destined to take advantage of it. He has you in control and free to invest fully in anything else he is interested in.

Sometimes the way to reverse it is deprivation. Being firm in depriving too. A person only truly knows the presence when he has lost something. Be busy with friends. Keep yourself occupied. Give him less of your time. Less of your concern. Be less helpful. Then when he comes find you can have a HTHT. If you have a HTHT before this deprivation, it might be disregarded as a nag / white noise. Sometimes have to take back some power in the relationship. If you give him what he needs and wants without him doing any work, then he wouldn't do anything.

I think it not taken for granted. it more like he dun even care about her. he can do without her

Man had sexual relationship with male teacher and extorted $197,000 -- in exchan

Started by beaverjuiceBoard Chit Chat Corner

Replies: 3
Views: 724
Last post January 13, 2016, 02:06:34 pm
by beaverjuice
Scariest/Funniest Relationship Stories

Started by portinariBoard All About Love

Replies: 4
Views: 1302
Last post October 15, 2015, 09:26:38 am
by IvoryTower
Teacher has relationship with girl, defying her dad

Started by beaverjuiceBoard Chit Chat Corner

Replies: 2
Views: 397
Last post January 15, 2016, 11:31:46 am
by Piglet