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Junior_Admin

Mother-in-laws - tips on making her like u?
« on: October 17, 2015, 11:53:08 am »
1. Don’t give her reasons to hate you.

Stepping out of line or exhibiting disdain are both things you want to avoid doing. Even in the face of blatant nastiness, be the bigger person and play nice (despite how frustrating it might be). So long as you mind your Ps and Qs, it’s not your problem that your partner’s mother still isn’t fond of you.

2. Be patient with her.

It takes time to earn her trust in order to receive her blessings. You may just be accumulating resentment by forcing yourself to handle such tough situations consistently in a politically correct way. Hard as it is to believe, know that this too shall pass.

3. Ensure your partner is on the same page as you are.

The last thing you want is to feel like you’re being ganged up on by him and his mother. Voice your concerns. The least he can do is mediate. If he supplements his mother’s ammunition or sides with her when he knows her actions are unjust, then this relationship has just called for a performance review.

4. Don’t let her ruin your relationship.

This isn’t Shakespeare and you’re not the Juliet to your Romeo. Don’t let the matriarch come between you and your consort. The warning signs are clear when half your fights revolve around his mother.

5. Don’t try too hard to make her to like you

When all’s said and done, and there’s nothing more you can do to mitigate the animosity, in the words of Disney’s snow queen: let it go. After all, you’re not in a relationship with your lover’s mother. You don’t really need her to be smitten with you. It would be nice, but it’s not a pressing necessity. The sooner you realise that you can’t and don’t have to please everyone, the better off you’ll be.
___________________________

sigh, was read the above from Petalbyte facebook page.. then reminds me of some many nightmares.
ladies, u got any nightmare stories to share or tips?

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Bloggerer

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Re: Mother-in-laws - tips on making her like u?
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2015, 01:12:13 pm »
Some MIL are impossible la

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Junior_Admin

Re: Mother-in-laws - tips on making her like u?
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2015, 02:14:41 pm »
Some MIL are impossible la

before i got married, i was dating him and i knew the mother is gonna be a nightmare...
my friends and i nicknamed her "monster-in-law"

when we were dating bf-gf... i visit his home and hangout, his bedroom door cannot be closed when i am around.
its not like we young teenagers dating for a few weeks.. we have been together for years, and still the door must be fully opened.

the monster-in-law is super conservative... i cant even sleep on his bed
got 1 time i super tired, i have to sit on the floor and lie my head on his bed and sleep like that...
sigh.....

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Schlicking

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Re: Mother-in-laws - tips on making her like u?
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2015, 03:28:40 pm »
before i got married, i was dating him and i knew the mother is gonna be a nightmare...
my friends and i nicknamed her "monster-in-law"

when we were dating bf-gf... i visit his home and hangout, his bedroom door cannot be closed when i am around.
its not like we young teenagers dating for a few weeks.. we have been together for years, and still the door must be fully opened.

the monster-in-law is super conservative... i cant even sleep on his bed
got 1 time i super tired, i have to sit on the floor and lie my head on his bed and sleep like that...
sigh.....

get ur own house


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KopiSiewDai

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Re: Mother-in-laws - tips on making her like u?
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2015, 05:47:46 pm »
before i got married, i was dating him and i knew the mother is gonna be a nightmare...
my friends and i nicknamed her "monster-in-law"

when we were dating bf-gf... i visit his home and hangout, his bedroom door cannot be closed when i am around.
its not like we young teenagers dating for a few weeks.. we have been together for years, and still the door must be fully opened.

the monster-in-law is super conservative... i cant even sleep on his bed
got 1 time i super tired, i have to sit on the floor and lie my head on his bed and sleep like that...
sigh.....
v poor thing sial :'(
I give everyone likes!

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ningxin

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Re: Mother-in-laws - tips on making her like u?
« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2015, 04:37:52 am »
luckily for me my future MIL is very understanding. so all i need to do is to do the standard of being polite and respectful and all will be good.

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janicemgoh

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Re: Mother-in-laws - tips on making her like u?
« Reply #6 on: October 19, 2015, 12:29:18 pm »
find ways to seek her advice

this shows you respect her as an elder

Next time when she cooks something very nice, complement it and ask her how she did it. You'll be surprised by her response.

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Abomination

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Re: Mother-in-laws - tips on making her like u?
« Reply #7 on: October 22, 2015, 01:38:40 pm »
Some MIL are impossible la

Yah lor some behave exactly like the Ajummas in k-dramas

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missbluey

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Re: Mother-in-laws - tips on making her like u?
« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2015, 04:14:11 pm »
i cant be bothered with mine. ;D

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laidback

Re: Mother-in-laws - tips on making her like u?
« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2015, 09:45:52 pm »
hihi i'm new here! i need to learn some tips too!! i'm staying with my in-laws now, temporarily.. can't wait for my flat to be done! i respect them as much as i can but i will not initiate conversations with them because i want to prevent conflicts. is this the right way?  :-[

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trac88

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Re: Mother-in-laws - tips on making her like u?
« Reply #10 on: November 04, 2015, 01:48:22 pm »
hihi i'm new here! i need to learn some tips too!! i'm staying with my in-laws now, temporarily.. can't wait for my flat to be done! i respect them as much as i can but i will not initiate conversations with them because i want to prevent conflicts. is this the right way?  :-[

hello! im new here too! hahaha. im also staying with my in laws now! own flat will only be ready in end 2018 :( loooong way more to go.

i think it's okay to initiate conversations by asking things like if they have eaten etc .. those general questions. those wont start conflicts :) they MIGHT have the wrong impression of you if you keep too quiet too!

i usually just greet them when my hubs and i reach home, or if they come home when im already home, i will casually ask where did they go etc. thats all, nothing more.

there are like 101 things that my in-laws do (esp my MIL and SIL) that i cannot accept or tolerate but at times we dont really have a choice, do we? afterall we're still staying at their place and gotta face them almost everyday.. i will ask my husband to be the 'middleman' because i know if i were to voice out myself, that will cause conflict :p

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nomnom

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Re: Mother-in-laws - tips on making her like u?
« Reply #11 on: November 04, 2015, 02:11:46 pm »
I am still not married yet.
But i think, basic stuff like if I am not going to have dinner at home and if MIL is usually the one cooking, I will be informing her in advance, as well as if I am going home late etc. Or, if I am going to Robinsons to shop after work, i will also ask her if she needs anything from there...
Basically, the things that I will inform my mum, I will do the same to her too...

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little hippo

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Re: Mother-in-laws - tips on making her like u?
« Reply #12 on: November 12, 2015, 01:32:46 pm »
after being with you, her son become a better person, become happier and become more focus in life, she will automatic like you...

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Beefballs

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Re: Mother-in-laws - tips on making her like u?
« Reply #13 on: November 17, 2015, 11:33:38 am »
If she cooks for you, offer to wash/clean up.

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pikafunk

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Re: Mother-in-laws - tips on making her like u?
« Reply #14 on: December 20, 2015, 04:10:24 pm »
1. Don’t give her reasons to hate you.

Stepping out of line or exhibiting disdain are both things you want to avoid doing. Even in the face of blatant nastiness, be the bigger person and play nice (despite how frustrating it might be). So long as you mind your Ps and Qs, it’s not your problem that your partner’s mother still isn’t fond of you.

2. Be patient with her.

It takes time to earn her trust in order to receive her blessings. You may just be accumulating resentment by forcing yourself to handle such tough situations consistently in a politically correct way. Hard as it is to believe, know that this too shall pass.

3. Ensure your partner is on the same page as you are.

The last thing you want is to feel like you’re being ganged up on by him and his mother. Voice your concerns. The least he can do is mediate. If he supplements his mother’s ammunition or sides with her when he knows her actions are unjust, then this relationship has just called for a performance review.

4. Don’t let her ruin your relationship.

This isn’t Shakespeare and you’re not the Juliet to your Romeo. Don’t let the matriarch come between you and your consort. The warning signs are clear when half your fights revolve around his mother.

5. Don’t try too hard to make her to like you

When all’s said and done, and there’s nothing more you can do to mitigate the animosity, in the words of Disney’s snow queen: let it go. After all, you’re not in a relationship with your lover’s mother. You don’t really need her to be smitten with you. It would be nice, but it’s not a pressing necessity. The sooner you realise that you can’t and don’t have to please everyone, the better off you’ll be.
___________________________

sigh, was read the above from Petalbyte facebook page.. then reminds me of some many nightmares.
ladies, u got any nightmare stories to share or tips?

no need to type all that.

there is no need to please your MIL. you are not marrying her. if she doesn't like you, then fine. it is not as if your gf chose you because you like her mother.

but if your future wife expects you to carry her 'balls' and be her slave too, then don't marry this type of girl.