*

happyshar

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 3250 20
    • View Profile
Re: Anger issues?
« Reply #15 on: May 06, 2019, 09:23:28 pm »
Is it bcoz u have been hurt bef hence it become this way?
Hmm if I’m treading on sensitive issues .. just ignore this.

Not really sensitive issue.

But if u live in an environment since very young where you have to protect and fend for yourself and be independent on your own, once you thrive that way, you will never want to rely / depend / trust another. You wouldn't even want to know how trustworthy they are. Every of your interaction with others is just for companionship or entertainment or gratification or self interest, without forming any attachment or bond. Anyone can leave anytime.

No right or wrong.

But I would like to try your way in my second life when I'm reborn  :P For curiosity sake.
« Last Edit: May 06, 2019, 09:25:51 pm by happyshar »
没有心,就不会痛 😉

*

beaverjuice

  • *****
  • Global Moderator
  • 10643 23
  • Road to Perdition
    • View Profile
Re: Anger issues?
« Reply #16 on: May 06, 2019, 09:40:10 pm »
Not really sensitive issue.

But if u live in an environment since very young where you have to protect and fend for yourself and be independent on your own, once you thrive that way, you will never want to rely / depend / trust another. You wouldn't even want to know how trustworthy they are. Every of your interaction with others is just for companionship or entertainment or gratification or self interest, without forming any attachment or bond. Anyone can leave anytime.

No right or wrong.

But I would like to try your way in my second life when I'm reborn  :P For curiosity sake.

in other words a detached personality trait, correct?  :-X
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

*

happyshar

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 3250 20
    • View Profile
Re: Anger issues?
« Reply #17 on: May 06, 2019, 09:52:50 pm »
in other words a detached personality trait, correct?  :-X

I dunno how professionals define it la, lol.
Personality seems like permanent but I can switch camp for a few days if given money as compensation. I guess it's a choice lol.
没有心,就不会痛 😉

*

Missypika

  • **
  • Junior Petal
  • 69 0
    • View Profile
Re: Anger issues?
« Reply #18 on: May 07, 2019, 08:54:33 pm »
Not really sensitive issue.

But if u live in an environment since very young where you have to protect and fend for yourself and be independent on your own, once you thrive that way, you will never want to rely / depend / trust another. You wouldn't even want to know how trustworthy they are. Every of your interaction with others is just for companionship or entertainment or gratification or self interest, without forming any attachment or bond. Anyone can leave anytime.

No right or wrong.

But I would like to try your way in my second life when I'm reborn  :P For curiosity sake.

Could I ask do u hmm feel lonely ? Since I don’t think u will really trust anyone due to your childhood..
Actually I do agree with u , to a certain extent. Sometimes I feel I’m way too trusting to a just known Friend or colleagues.. when things backfires, a part of me will blame myself for being too trusting and naive..

I Guess if there’s another life, we shld swop roles😂


*

happyshar

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 3250 20
    • View Profile
Re: Anger issues?
« Reply #19 on: May 08, 2019, 06:18:43 pm »
Could I ask do u hmm feel lonely ? Since I don’t think u will really trust anyone due to your childhood..
Actually I do agree with u , to a certain extent. Sometimes I feel I’m way too trusting to a just known Friend or colleagues.. when things backfires, a part of me will blame myself for being too trusting and naive..

I Guess if there’s another life, we shld swop roles😂

I feel the best when I'm alone and in my own world. I always pleasure myself with things I'm interested in, sometimes until midnight.

But sometimes I feel lonely when I'm around people. Because they might perceive themselves as close to me, but in my memory or in my perception they might not be close to me. So it's quite weird when we recount old times as the experience doesn't tally up.

When I feel a person seems very trustworthy, there's when the issue comes, either I will display some behaviour which cause them to avoid me. Or I will find some evidence that they are not trustworthy to leave them.
没有心,就不会痛 😉

*

Missypika

  • **
  • Junior Petal
  • 69 0
    • View Profile
Re: Anger issues?
« Reply #20 on: May 08, 2019, 11:27:36 pm »
I feel the best when I'm alone and in my own world. I always pleasure myself with things I'm interested in, sometimes until midnight.

But sometimes I feel lonely when I'm around people. Because they might perceive themselves as close to me, but in my memory or in my perception they might not be close to me. So it's quite weird when we recount old times as the experience doesn't tally up.

When I feel a person seems very trustworthy, there's when the issue comes, either I will display some behaviour which cause them to avoid me. Or I will find some evidence that they are not trustworthy to leave them.

When you display some behaviour that cause them to avoid you... do u feel hmm like guilty ? U know things is getting better .. maybe u can trust this person ..
somehow I did some stuff that make ppl to hate me. Bcoz I kinda of want to get back at them. But then it didn’t make me feel good at all.

*

happyshar

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 3250 20
    • View Profile
Re: Anger issues?
« Reply #21 on: May 08, 2019, 11:44:20 pm »
When you display some behaviour that cause them to avoid you... do u feel hmm like guilty ? U know things is getting better .. maybe u can trust this person ..
somehow I did some stuff that make ppl to hate me. Bcoz I kinda of want to get back at them. But then it didn’t make me feel good at all.

I feel guilty when they appear sad when they know I'm leaving that abruptly without a gd reason... I feel better when they leave because I'm bad...I don't mind being perceived as bad but I mind feeling guilty.

Getting back at ppl is another topic, hv done it before to teach a lesson in kind, but it didn't feel that gd either. I thought it's gd that ppl should experience first hand what they do to others happening to them. So by rights they shouldn't be that weak when they receive it themselves, since they can do it on others. Maybe it's out of curiosity too, I want to find out if they can accept what they do to others if it happens to them. But results show there is double standards and they usually can't accept it when it happens to them.
没有心,就不会痛 😉

*

Missypika

  • **
  • Junior Petal
  • 69 0
    • View Profile
Re: Anger issues?
« Reply #22 on: May 08, 2019, 11:57:38 pm »
I feel guilty when they appear sad when they know I'm leaving that abruptly without a gd reason... I feel better when they leave because I'm bad...I don't mind being perceived as bad but I mind feeling guilty.

Getting back at ppl is another topic, hv done it before to teach a lesson in kind, but it didn't feel that gd either. I thought it's gd that ppl should experience first hand what they do to others happening to them. So by rights they shouldn't be that weak when they receive it themselves, since they can do it on others. Maybe it's out of curiosity too, I want to find out if they can accept what they do to others if it happens to them. But results show there is double standards and they usually can't accept it when it happens to them.

Does the guilt ever goes away?
There’s a part of me that want to cut off this group of ppl .. not all turn their back on me, but still I wish to get the entire episode out of my mind. And socialising with ppl who’s part of the grp seem impossible as they remind me of them.

Tbh I dunno what I have been feeling lately.
I Guess abit of mad,crazy,emotional, angry.. just abit of almost all the angry stuff. Never felt so angry before.. to the extent I dun even recognise myself at all.

That’s a fact : double standards exist. When they get to hurt me over and over again, I don’t get even a single apology.
But when things turn against them, they got so defensive.
Somehow honestly It seem like I don’t even know them anymore. They become so different from the day I met them. Or maybe like many say .. when things happen , you will see people’s true colours.


*

happyshar

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 3250 20
    • View Profile
Re: Anger issues?
« Reply #23 on: May 09, 2019, 12:36:49 am »
Does the guilt ever goes away?
There’s a part of me that want to cut off this group of ppl .. not all turn their back on me, but still I wish to get the entire episode out of my mind. And socialising with ppl who’s part of the grp seem impossible as they remind me of them.

Tbh I dunno what I have been feeling lately.
I Guess abit of mad,crazy,emotional, angry.. just abit of almost all the angry stuff. Never felt so angry before.. to the extent I dun even recognise myself at all.

That’s a fact : double standards exist. When they get to hurt me over and over again, I don’t get even a single apology.
But when things turn against them, they got so defensive.
Somehow honestly It seem like I don’t even know them anymore. They become so different from the day I met them. Or maybe like many say .. when things happen , you will see people’s true colours.

Why don't you cut them off earlier? Meet new ppl.
If I'm you maybe they already non-existent in my mind.

Those who turn their back on you will eventually affect those who didn't. Ppl who hang in groups usually no matter right or wrong, majority wins. (Or even sometimes it's not majority wins but the popular one wins, because ppl want to stay around to rub off some fame even if they don't like her) For awhile they may appear on your side, slowly they will cold and eventually go.
« Last Edit: May 09, 2019, 12:43:30 am by happyshar »
没有心,就不会痛 😉

*

Missypika

  • **
  • Junior Petal
  • 69 0
    • View Profile
Re: Anger issues?
« Reply #24 on: May 09, 2019, 10:00:30 am »
Why don't you cut them off earlier? Meet new ppl.
If I'm you maybe they already non-existent in my mind.

Those who turn their back on you will eventually affect those who didn't. Ppl who hang in groups usually no matter right or wrong, majority wins. (Or even sometimes it's not majority wins but the popular one wins, because ppl want to stay around to rub off some fame even if they don't like her) For awhile they may appear on your side, slowly they will cold and eventually go.

Why I didn’t cut them off earlier ? This is a very good question.
I have been asking myself this lately too.
Tbh just a sincere apology was all I asked for.
And maybe can still be friends.
And well yes I always remind myself sometimes people needs more than a second chance. Silly huh ?
But then their childish actions lately make me think otherwise.
I Guess after these incident,I got to learn to be wiser from now on.
Yes that’s the sad part of being in a grp. You think u know them.. although I won’t say really well enu, but ya they seem nice to me at the very least.
And seeing their reactions aftermath.. they seem to believe others rather than me...
making new friends is the way going fwd.. and I should stop looking back. There’s nothing to look back (something that I have been constantly reminding myself)
The next time .. I won’t be so trusting anymore. Once bitten twice shy I Guess.
« Last Edit: May 09, 2019, 10:02:37 am by Missypika »

*

happyshar

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 3250 20
    • View Profile
Re: Anger issues?
« Reply #25 on: May 09, 2019, 07:05:37 pm »
Why I didn’t cut them off earlier ? This is a very good question.
I have been asking myself this lately too.
Tbh just a sincere apology was all I asked for.
And maybe can still be friends.
And well yes I always remind myself sometimes people needs more than a second chance. Silly huh ?
But then their childish actions lately make me think otherwise.
I Guess after these incident,I got to learn to be wiser from now on.
Yes that’s the sad part of being in a grp. You think u know them.. although I won’t say really well enu, but ya they seem nice to me at the very least.
And seeing their reactions aftermath.. they seem to believe others rather than me...
making new friends is the way going fwd.. and I should stop looking back. There’s nothing to look back (something that I have been constantly reminding myself)
The next time .. I won’t be so trusting anymore. Once bitten twice shy I Guess.

Move forward..focus on good things that make you happy and well..Those of similar frequency will catch up. Life is very short. We age v fast and won't know our lifespan.
没有心,就不会痛 😉

*

Missypika

  • **
  • Junior Petal
  • 69 0
    • View Profile
Re: Anger issues?
« Reply #26 on: May 09, 2019, 08:32:52 pm »
Move forward..focus on good things that make you happy and well..Those of similar frequency will catch up. Life is very short. We age v fast and won't know our lifespan.

That’s true. I’ll keep that in mind.
Thanks @happyshar :)

*

happyshar

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 3250 20
    • View Profile
Re: Anger issues?
« Reply #27 on: May 09, 2019, 08:34:42 pm »
That’s true. I’ll keep that in mind.
Thanks @happyshar :)

Welcome  :P
没有心,就不会痛 😉