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Flareon_zehz

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How can i stop saying opposites?
« on: December 28, 2015, 07:42:30 am »
Hi guys/girls!
Recently i met this cute guy online, we chatted for like a month plus and went out a few times too, I quite like him (as a friend!). He is very gentleman-like and doesn't take advantage of me in any way.

But i seem to have an issue with him... could be me as well? Normally I'm very straight and blunt with my words, and he gets them easily. However sometimes i just can't help to say and meant the opposite, and he totally didn't catch it! OMG catch a hint or two!

Argh, I know he is just a friend, why am i so frustrated.

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beaverjuice

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Re: How can i stop saying opposites?
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2015, 08:08:04 am »
Hi guys/girls!
Recently i met this cute guy online, we chatted for like a month plus and went out a few times too, I quite like him (as a friend!). He is very gentleman-like and doesn't take advantage of me in any way.

But i seem to have an issue with him... could be me as well? Normally I'm very straight and blunt with my words, and he gets them easily. However sometimes i just can't help to say and meant the opposite, and he totally didn't catch it! OMG catch a hint or two!

Argh, I know he is just a friend, why am i so frustrated.
you mean that you were sarcastic and he didn't catch your sarcasm? ???
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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focus

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Re: How can i stop saying opposites?
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2015, 08:29:47 am »
Hi guys/girls!
Recently i met this cute guy online, we chatted for like a month plus and went out a few times too, I quite like him (as a friend!). He is very gentleman-like and doesn't take advantage of me in any way.

But i seem to have an issue with him... could be me as well? Normally I'm very straight and blunt with my words, and he gets them easily. However sometimes i just can't help to say and meant the opposite, and he totally didn't catch it! OMG catch a hint or two!

Argh, I know he is just a friend, why am i so frustrated.

As in for example, you like to go watch movie but you said you don't like? Or you like things done this way but actually you prefer doing things the other way? Why say that?
if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its life forever thinking its [fill in the blank]

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Flareon_zehz

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Re: How can i stop saying opposites?
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2015, 08:53:04 am »
Uhh not really.
Like sometimes i say stuffs like "i hate you" "go away" or telling him to "piss off", i wanted to meant otherwise.


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focus

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Re: How can i stop saying opposites?
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2015, 08:56:28 am »
Uhh not really.
Like sometimes i say stuffs like "i hate you" "go away" or telling him to "piss off", i wanted to meant otherwise.

Wow why did you say those?
if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its life forever thinking its [fill in the blank]

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beaverjuice

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Re: How can i stop saying opposites?
« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2015, 09:21:00 am »
Uhh not really.
Like sometimes i say stuffs like "i hate you" "go away" or telling him to "piss off", i wanted to meant otherwise.

maybe it is the lack of communication between the both of you which makes you say those things to "provoke" a reaction.  guys are not really effusive with our emotions which makes you think what is really going on inside his head.  we're not want for words other than "uh", "yah", "okay" etc.

saying those things and prompting a reaction such as an argument - which I am sure you really didn't mean to, is an attempt to goad him into making those level 3,4,5 communication with you.

if it is really the case,  I think a marriage counselling course is a good way to get him to open up (even if you are not intending to get married - there is no stamp of authority to say that you must get married after attending such a course btw). 

anyways, I would advise you to refrain from saying those things to your partner. it isn't a healthy way of communicating with your partner even if he is a "woodblock".
« Last Edit: December 28, 2015, 09:23:06 am by beaverjuice »
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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nomnom

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Re: How can i stop saying opposites?
« Reply #6 on: December 28, 2015, 11:21:21 am »
Uhh not really.
Like sometimes i say stuffs like "i hate you" "go away" or telling him to "piss off", i wanted to meant otherwise.

Like that to a guy, its conflicting loh.. next time, they won't take you seriously liao... Thats why guys like to "brand" girls saying that girls never mean what they say.
Guys get really frustrated when girls don't mean what they say.

For me, a "no" is a "no". A "no" is not a "yes" or "maybe".
A "yes" is a "yes". A "yes" is not a "no" or "maybe".

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Piglet

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Re: How can i stop saying opposites?
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2015, 12:18:10 pm »
I think you like him and is trying too hard to act you dun care. and want to hang up to sell. dun do such thing lei. No a very smart thing to do.