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happyshar

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All or nothing or a middle ground, what does one choose
« on: January 28, 2016, 02:01:56 am »
I'm sure many of us would have been given scenarios where. Let's say if there's something you want and you have certain criteria to be met so that you accept and proceed.

but if majority of conditions are present except lacking one.. do you take it, leave it, or accept the lack and proceed? Can one actually accept a lack?
没有心,就不会痛 😉

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Lancelot

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Re: All or nothing or a middle ground, what does one choose
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2016, 04:11:26 am »
I'm sure many of us would have been given scenarios where. Let's say if there's something you want and you have certain criteria to be met so that you accept and proceed.

but if majority of conditions are present except lacking one.. do you take it, leave it, or accept the lack and proceed? Can one actually accept a lack?

Majority of us would accept it on the grounds of tolerance but we would defect eventually. When we would defect would depend on the severity of what it is we are lacking and if it is an intrinsic need that we tried to bury or tolerate, it wouldn't be too log before we give in. Or it could just be me haha!

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beaverjuice

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Re: All or nothing or a middle ground, what does one choose
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2016, 08:09:26 am »
if it is a job or career move? as in all the pull factors are present - higher salary, promotion, reputable company etc vs lack of push factor in current job - happy in current set-up,  wonderful working environment?  or choosing a handphone - maybe its got all the bells and whistles except for a terrible battery life?

it might be a no-brainer for millenials b'cos they live only for the moment so they'll go for it.  but for someone who has been there and done that,  they'd be happy to accept the trade-offs and stay in the current job or the "old" handphone.

so i'd say it depends on one's temperament too.  and sometimes it can be quite intuitive for some whereas for some people they might want to take a step-back to weight the pros-and-cons or consult a BFF.

one thing I've learnt in life is that if one waits for the perfect scenario, one might never move at all.  those rare scenarios where the stars are perfectly aligned are happenstance.

just like a relationship - there isn't a Mr. Perfect or Ms. Right.  if he/she ticks the majority of the boxes and the flaws doesn't make me compromise on my value system,  i'd go for it.

equally important is that once having made that decision or choice, one shouldn't have buyer's remorse or learning how to deal with the cognitive dissonance and moving on.  that is one skillset more important than choosing.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2016, 08:16:02 am by beaverjuice »
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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FatNeko

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Re: All or nothing or a middle ground, what does one choose
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2016, 09:28:11 am »
wah lau got what problem just say out lah beat around the bush hard to understand what you really mean lehhhh  >:(

You like a shoe, but the shoe got a scratch. So buy or don't buy. Something like this rightttt???


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nomnom

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Re: All or nothing or a middle ground, what does one choose
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2016, 10:55:42 am »
It depends on the situation.

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Piglet

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Re: All or nothing or a middle ground, what does one choose
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2016, 11:06:18 am »
if it just something minor just close eyes, if it major that give up lor

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happyshar

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Re: All or nothing or a middle ground, what does one choose
« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2016, 03:08:30 pm »
I realised whenever such scenarios happen I tend to leave it... because I'm all or nothing.

but I find dat after long... I'm not moving at all...   :-[

I tend to leave it bcz once one criteria is not fulfilled. my interest takes a dip...

but recently I realized that's how everythg is.. there's hardly any case where all are fulfilled. and if I gonna do this everytime. I'm gg to hv nth in the long run.   :-\

so I'm wondering how does everyone do it. is it like fake acceptance until u make acceptance.
or bluff yourself that ur interested until ur relly interested.

I have this feeling that I'm badly spoilt. that's why I'm like dat.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2016, 03:11:21 pm by happyshar »
没有心,就不会痛 😉

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happyshar

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Re: All or nothing or a middle ground, what does one choose
« Reply #7 on: January 28, 2016, 03:13:58 pm »
wah lau got what problem just say out lah beat around the bush hard to understand what you really mean lehhhh  >:(

You like a shoe, but the shoe got a scratch. So buy or don't buy. Something like this rightttt???

nv beat ard the bush. in the past all such scenarios in different situations met b4 ma.

only recently presented with one more.. I realise I cannot be so stubborn anymore
没有心,就不会痛 😉

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beaverjuice

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Re: All or nothing or a middle ground, what does one choose
« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2016, 03:18:02 pm »
@happyshar - maybe you have exacting standards? ???  which isn't altogether a bad thing if you aspire yourself to reach them but expecting others to reach those standards is another thing since you can control one but not the other.
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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happyshar

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Re: All or nothing or a middle ground, what does one choose
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2016, 03:36:32 pm »
@happyshar - maybe you have exacting standards? ???  which isn't altogether a bad thing if you aspire yourself to reach them but expecting others to reach those standards is another thing since you can control one but not the other.

how not to have exacting standards while making choices and doing thgs?
lol. I find that oso when doing thgs I become too serious as well. as though if one thg is lacking in my plan I'll break the door down just to get it bk. even if it doesn't benefit me.
没有心,就不会痛 😉

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beaverjuice

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Re: All or nothing or a middle ground, what does one choose
« Reply #10 on: January 28, 2016, 04:11:51 pm »
how not to have exacting standards while making choices and doing thgs?
lol. I find that oso when doing thgs I become too serious as well. as though if one thg is lacking in my plan I'll break the door down just to get it bk. even if it doesn't benefit me.
you're a stickler and fastidious at that ..... it is an in-born talent .....
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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Piglet

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Re: All or nothing or a middle ground, what does one choose
« Reply #11 on: January 28, 2016, 04:12:12 pm »
there no such thing as 100% perfect in this world. wanting everything to be perfect and cannot see open that there will always be and might as be some small tiny defect. Will drive you crazy

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happyshar

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Re: All or nothing or a middle ground, what does one choose
« Reply #12 on: January 28, 2016, 04:58:53 pm »
you're a stickler and fastidious at that ..... it is an in-born talent .....
don't understand ... too chim ang moh  :-[

mean cannot change... cham liao.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2016, 05:00:54 pm by happyshar »
没有心,就不会痛 😉

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happyshar

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Re: All or nothing or a middle ground, what does one choose
« Reply #13 on: January 28, 2016, 05:01:52 pm »
there no such thing as 100% perfect in this world. wanting everything to be perfect and cannot see open that there will always be and might as be some small tiny defect. Will drive you crazy

yalo... cham...   :-[

没有心,就不会痛 😉

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Piglet

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Re: All or nothing or a middle ground, what does one choose
« Reply #14 on: January 28, 2016, 05:52:49 pm »
yalo... cham...   :-[

you must learn to let go. really will feel better.