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happyshar

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Re: Reason(s) that you are still single
« Reply #15 on: June 15, 2018, 06:35:21 pm »
I was a perfectionist turned happy imperfect person lol.

There's a whole broad range of things I can accept now. Almost nth I couldn't accept.
« Last Edit: June 15, 2018, 06:37:44 pm by happyshar »
没有心,就不会痛 😉

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beaverjuice

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Re: Reason(s) that you are still single
« Reply #16 on: June 15, 2018, 07:36:29 pm »
I was a perfectionist turned happy imperfect person lol.

There's a whole broad range of things I can accept now. Almost nth I couldn't accept.

Yes, compromise comes bite us in the a$$ eventually ....

Acceptance is key in a relationship.  Not compromise ...

Hey ... i seemed to have this conversation before !  :o

Like deja vu leh ...  :o :o
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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happyshar

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Re: Reason(s) that you are still single
« Reply #17 on: June 16, 2018, 03:32:41 am »
Yes, compromise comes bite us in the a$$ eventually ....

Acceptance is key in a relationship.  Not compromise ...

Hey ... i seemed to have this conversation before !  :o

Like deja vu leh ...  :o :o

Lol
Yeah in my past life we had this conversation  8)
没有心,就不会痛 😉

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beaverjuice

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Re: Reason(s) that you are still single
« Reply #18 on: June 16, 2018, 02:57:29 pm »
Lol
Yeah in my past life we had this conversation  8)

Harrrrhhhh  :o ... chiu also believe in reincarnation meh? ???
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."


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happyshar

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Re: Reason(s) that you are still single
« Reply #19 on: June 17, 2018, 02:34:37 am »
Harrrrhhhh  :o ... chiu also believe in reincarnation meh? ???

In my "past life" mean v long ago  :-[
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Ah Tiong

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Re: Reason(s) that you are still single
« Reply #20 on: July 02, 2018, 11:21:44 am »
Haiz.... Simply no luck.

Last time woo-ed my colleague but not only rejected by her but also my relationship with her turned sour.... Anyway that was in the past, she has already married and both of us have left that place for different jobs and I have not seen her for nearly 3 years....

Then I tried online dating like okcupid etc. Find it a waste of time and effort, messaged more than 20 ladies at least and not even a single reply. And the only message that I received there, the lady is far below my minimum expectation. But then I am still trying....

I have think of asking friends to introduce but my close friends are all single males and I find it awkward to ask my ex schoolmates or acquaintences for 'help'.

And then I have also tried spending nearly $500 on a dating agency to no avail as the ladies I am interested all rejected my requests to meet. :(

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beaverjuice

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Re: Reason(s) that you are still single
« Reply #21 on: July 02, 2018, 11:30:32 am »
Haiz.... Simply no luck.

Last time woo-ed my colleague but not only rejected by her but also my relationship with her turned sour.... Anyway that was in the past, she has already married and both of us have left that place for different jobs and I have not seen her for nearly 3 years....

Then I tried online dating like okcupid etc. Find it a waste of time and effort, messaged more than 20 ladies at least and not even a single reply. And the only message that I received there, the lady is far below my minimum expectation. But then I am still trying....

I have think of asking friends to introduce but my close friends are all single males and I find it awkward to ask my ex schoolmates or acquaintences for 'help'.

And then I have also tried spending nearly $500 on a dating agency to no avail as the ladies I am interested all rejected my requests to meet. :(

okcupid is similar to tinder right?  that's for hook-up and finding flings ....

for starters,  I think you should not have any expectations when being fixed up for a date - through friends or dating agencies .... setting expectations may lead to disappointment.   

so start out as friends and don't pressure yourself or the other person.   

if you need training wheels,  then start with group outings .... and most importantly is you need to learn to open your mouth to talk and it helps if you genuinely have interests outside of your field of work and manga/hentai (and other ohtaku hobbies). 

start by taking an interest in women's stuff - cosmetics/skincare,  fashion etc ... you need to think like a women to get into her head (i'm not suggesting that you start cross-dressing though)
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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Ah Tiong

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Re: Reason(s) that you are still single
« Reply #22 on: July 02, 2018, 11:47:11 am »
okcupid is similar to tinder right?  that's for hook-up and finding flings ....

for starters,  I think you should not have any expectations when being fixed up for a date - through friends or dating agencies .... setting expectations may lead to disappointment.   

so start out as friends and don't pressure yourself or the other person.   

if you need training wheels,  then start with group outings .... and most importantly is you need to learn to open your mouth to talk and it helps if you genuinely have interests outside of your field of work and manga/hentai (and other ohtaku hobbies). 

start by taking an interest in women's stuff - cosmetics/skincare,  fashion etc ... you need to think like a women to get into her head (i'm not suggesting that you start cross-dressing though)

Yup OKcupid is similar to Tinder. We swipe left and right for profile and we can send message to those ladies that we are interested with. One thing good about this is it is very convenient.

I agree with you that it is better to start off as making new friends first as it will be less stressful and 'artificial' while as one meets more people, the chances of him/her meeting the right one will be higher also.....

But for us working adults it doesn't seems to be easy making new friends. The only place that we get to meet new people is possibly workplace but for my case as I am working alone in a lab with no other colleagues, it is very difficult for me to socialise around even in my workplace. Furthermore I do believe in setting up a distance between me and my colleagues as there will definitely be some conflicts of interests.

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Ah Tiong

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Re: Reason(s) that you are still single
« Reply #23 on: July 02, 2018, 11:51:01 am »
Actually I do believe that there are still single and available ladies around.

There should be some girl next door ladies of introvert and shy nature who have limited opportunities to get to know someone of opposite gender due to small social circles which only consists of ladies of similar characteristics and they might have limited presences in online platform and social circles and thus we find it hard to know of their existences.

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beaverjuice

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Re: Reason(s) that you are still single
« Reply #24 on: July 02, 2018, 12:02:30 pm »
Yup OKcupid is similar to Tinder. We swipe left and right for profile and we can send message to those ladies that we are interested with. One thing good about this is it is very convenient.
target market is also quite important.  I assume that you are looking to settle down and not looking for a fling?

Quote
I agree with you that it is better to start off as making new friends first as it will be less stressful and 'artificial' while as one meets more people, the chances of him/her meeting the right one will be higher also.....
yes, when we are nervous we get tongue-tied and even if we have nice things to say, it may not come out as intended ..... practice makes perfect .... so the more "exposed" you are in a social situation,  the better you get at it.

and definitely it is a numbers game.  meet a 100 gals and at least a few might be Ms. Right ;)

Quote
But for us working adults it doesn't seems to be easy making new friends. The only place that we get to meet new people is possibly workplace but for my case as I am working alone in a lab with no other colleagues, it is very difficult for me to socialise around even in my workplace. Furthermore I do believe in setting up a distance between me and my colleagues as there will definitely be some conflicts of interests.

hmmm ..... given the lack of opportunities in the workplace,  you might need to expand outside of it.

all is not lost of course,  you might want to try industry networking events?

there is the Plastics and Rubber Chemicals Institute? - if you are in the plastics and rubber related industries
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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beaverjuice

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Re: Reason(s) that you are still single
« Reply #25 on: July 02, 2018, 12:04:05 pm »
Actually I do believe that there are still single and available ladies around.

There should be some girl next door ladies of introvert and shy nature who have limited opportunities to get to know someone of opposite gender due to small social circles which only consists of ladies of similar characteristics and they might have limited presences in online platform and social circles and thus we find it hard to know of their existences.
okay ... i'll help you by channeling all the silent lurking single ladies or attached ladies on this forum .... yooohoooooooooo ! 

jiayous !  gambatte !
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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Ah Tiong

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Re: Reason(s) that you are still single
« Reply #26 on: July 02, 2018, 01:12:36 pm »
target market is also quite important.  I assume that you are looking to settle down and not looking for a fling?
yes, when we are nervous we get tongue-tied and even if we have nice things to say, it may not come out as intended ..... practice makes perfect .... so the more "exposed" you are in a social situation,  the better you get at it.

and definitely it is a numbers game.  meet a 100 gals and at least a few might be Ms. Right ;)

hmmm ..... given the lack of opportunities in the workplace,  you might need to expand outside of it.

all is not lost of course,  you might want to try industry networking events?

there is the Plastics and Rubber Chemicals Institute? - if you are in the plastics and rubber related industries

Yup I am 34 this year and I am looking to settle down as I am not young anymore.

Previously I have also tried to enlarge my social circle in order to better my chances of meeting the right one but to no avail. Likewise I have tried online dating or even paid dating services... All gg.... :( Sometimes I do doubt that whether I have not been making enough efforts on this aspect.

Although I feel quite disappointed with the responses I got in OKcupid but no matter what I will continue trying it for now at least. But definitely I won't be pinning too much hope in this as I find such online dating too 'superficial' to a certain extent as we tend to reject a person before even attempting to know more about him/her.

I am from the electronics engineering industry and my workplace is male dominated so if I went for industry networking event most likely it will be male dominated also.

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Ah Tiong

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Re: Reason(s) that you are still single
« Reply #27 on: July 02, 2018, 01:16:23 pm »
okay ... i'll help you by channeling all the silent lurking single ladies or attached ladies on this forum .... yooohoooooooooo ! 

jiayous !  gambatte !

Thanks :)

I always want to tap into this area but really no 'lobang'....

But nevertheless I'd prefer to start off as friends first, understanding each other more before progressing further. In this case both parties would feel less stress and more natural unlike online dating or matchmaking events when all parties are with the mindset of looking the right person to settle down with and I believe that it will bring more stress and thus less successful.