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butiamhere

Long distance relationship
« on: October 31, 2015, 11:42:54 pm »
i am in a complicated relationship.. and it is long distance.. but actually, i don't even know if i'm considered attached..

i know this guy (angmoh) from work when i went for a short overseas assignment. he came to sg for a period thereafter for his overseas assignment. so we got to know each other better and eventually fell in love. he's mature and older than me, just the guy i'm looking for. successful and smart.

we continue to talk everyday through video call. we will especially make time for each other despite the time difference. but we both know that there is no future for us. he will not leave his country and i will not leave mine. in fact, he told me that i can go dating if i want to.. but we still talk everyday. i miss him but i'm stuck in this situation. i cannot get out of it. the worse is, we have actually gone on like this for a few years..

my friend said i'm stupid for wasting my youth on him. i feel it's true because i'm not young anymore. but i don't find other guys who are as attractive as him. it's definitely not because he's angmoh. he's not good-looking. he's attractive to me because he is mature and understands me well.

i don't know how i should move on. i have tried for the past few years.. or have i really tried.. hais..

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beaverjuice

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Re: Long distance relationship
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2015, 12:04:36 am »
@butiamhere - i feel that he is stringing you along .... sorry for being harsh ...

if the guy is interested he will go through hell and high water.

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also..." .... Matt 6:21
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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nomnom

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Re: Long distance relationship
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2015, 12:14:14 am »
i am in a complicated relationship.. and it is long distance.. but actually, i don't even know if i'm considered attached..

i know this guy (angmoh) from work when i went for a short overseas assignment. he came to sg for a period thereafter for his overseas assignment. so we got to know each other better and eventually fell in love. he's mature and older than me, just the guy i'm looking for. successful and smart.

we continue to talk everyday through video call. we will especially make time for each other despite the time difference. but we both know that there is no future for us. he will not leave his country and i will not leave mine. in fact, he told me that i can go dating if i want to.. but we still talk everyday. i miss him but i'm stuck in this situation. i cannot get out of it. the worse is, we have actually gone on like this for a few years..

my friend said i'm stupid for wasting my youth on him. i feel it's true because i'm not young anymore. but i don't find other guys who are as attractive as him. it's definitely not because he's angmoh. he's not good-looking. he's attractive to me because he is mature and understands me well.

i don't know how i should move on. i have tried for the past few years.. or have i really tried.. hais..

Nothing will come out of it.
You are waiting for him to make sacrifices -> he has to come to sg and work here.
For him, you are not worth the sacrifices that he made. That is why he is not moving to sg. Who knows, maybe he oredi has a gf/wife.

Sounds cruel to you but hope that you can wake up to reality...

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PikAgasm

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Re: Long distance relationship
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2015, 03:06:18 am »
i am in a complicated relationship.. and it is long distance.. but actually, i don't even know if i'm considered attached..

i know this guy (angmoh) from work when i went for a short overseas assignment. he came to sg for a period thereafter for his overseas assignment. so we got to know each other better and eventually fell in love. he's mature and older than me, just the guy i'm looking for. successful and smart.

we continue to talk everyday through video call. we will especially make time for each other despite the time difference. but we both know that there is no future for us. he will not leave his country and i will not leave mine. in fact, he told me that i can go dating if i want to.. but we still talk everyday. i miss him but i'm stuck in this situation. i cannot get out of it. the worse is, we have actually gone on like this for a few years..

my friend said i'm stupid for wasting my youth on him. i feel it's true because i'm not young anymore. but i don't find other guys who are as attractive as him. it's definitely not because he's angmoh. he's not good-looking. he's attractive to me because he is mature and understands me well.

i don't know how i should move on. i have tried for the past few years.. or have i really tried.. hais..

Tried before when I was young. Didn't really work out well tho.  :(


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ezekiel

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Re: Long distance relationship
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2015, 02:28:37 pm »
Long distance relationships are hard and very hard on both parties most of the time it doesnt work only a small percentage it actually works. Loyalty to one another is the main criteria here, are u willing to trust him and is he willing to trust u in having a mutual exclusive relationship.
Remember we are human beings temptations get to us no matter how strong willed u are. Yes u and him may say u are in love with one another and no one will come in between u n him, know that it doesnt work all the time.
As u n him are apart soon someone will come your way the same goes for him, and then u will ask yourself should i still be with someone who i staying away from me or someone here who is willing to give me the love is seek.

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littlesotong

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Re: Long distance relationship
« Reply #5 on: November 03, 2015, 11:37:22 am »
i am in a complicated relationship.. and it is long distance.. but actually, i don't even know if i'm considered attached..

i know this guy (angmoh) from work when i went for a short overseas assignment. he came to sg for a period thereafter for his overseas assignment. so we got to know each other better and eventually fell in love. he's mature and older than me, just the guy i'm looking for. successful and smart.

we continue to talk everyday through video call. we will especially make time for each other despite the time difference. but we both know that there is no future for us. he will not leave his country and i will not leave mine. in fact, he told me that i can go dating if i want to.. but we still talk everyday. i miss him but i'm stuck in this situation. i cannot get out of it. the worse is, we have actually gone on like this for a few years..

my friend said i'm stupid for wasting my youth on him. i feel it's true because i'm not young anymore. but i don't find other guys who are as attractive as him. it's definitely not because he's angmoh. he's not good-looking. he's attractive to me because he is mature and understands me well.

i don't know how i should move on. i have tried for the past few years.. or have i really tried.. hais..

if a guy who "loves you" can ask u go dating if u want to, he's probably already doing that behind ur back. just saying.  :-\
chronicles of a baby sotong & the deep sea diver

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FatNeko

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Re: Long distance relationship
« Reply #6 on: November 03, 2015, 04:16:04 pm »
If you do not want to leave your country for him and he also do not want to leave his country for you, means both of you don't love each other that much. You are just getting too used to him already that your subconscious don't want to move out of this comfort zone.

Did both of you visit each other frequently? No way a guy can tahan few years without meeting the girl to...you know..this is hard truth la.

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jellyfish

Re: Long distance relationship
« Reply #7 on: November 03, 2015, 07:01:11 pm »
If you do not want to leave your country for him and he also do not want to leave his country for you, means both of you don't love each other that much. You are just getting too used to him already that your subconscious don't want to move out of this comfort zone.

Did both of you visit each other frequently? No way a guy can tahan few years without meeting the girl to...you know..this is hard truth la.

love does not have a single number that if u more than that, then u love him, if u less than that number, then u dont love him

not wanting to leave your country does not mean u don't love him.
its a combination of thousands of factors.
i think you have many dimensions to consider.... tough choice dear :(

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nomnom

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Re: Long distance relationship
« Reply #8 on: November 03, 2015, 08:08:41 pm »
Seriously, nothing will come out of it unless one makes the sacrifices.

When you are happy, he is not there to share your joy.
When you are sad, he is not there to share your sorrows.
When you want to cry, there is no shoulder for you to cry on.


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FatNeko

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Re: Long distance relationship
« Reply #9 on: November 03, 2015, 08:08:52 pm »
love does not have a single number that if u more than that, then u love him, if u less than that number, then u dont love him

not wanting to leave your country does not mean u don't love him.
its a combination of thousands of factors.
i think you have many dimensions to consider.... tough choice dear :(

For girls, you all think too much. For guys, it is a matter or worth or not worth for us to do it. I don't want to say this is an investment for us guys, but we have to weight against our career and other important aspects in life other than a thing like r/s. Not to mention a LDR which seems dark. If I am crazily in love with other cat that even my owner chain me I also will bite and break free lor...

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nomnom

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Re: Long distance relationship
« Reply #10 on: November 03, 2015, 08:11:07 pm »
For girls, you all think too much. For guys, it is a matter or worth or not worth for us to do it. I don't want to say this is an investment for us guys, but we have to weight against our career and other important aspects in life other than a thing like r/s. Not to mention a LDR which seems dark. If I am crazily in love with other cat that even my owner chain me I also will bite and break free lor...

Typical dream of a guy is willing to make sacrifices for the girl...

When you gals reach my age, you will know that it is nothing but a dream...

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FatNeko

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Re: Long distance relationship
« Reply #11 on: November 03, 2015, 08:13:30 pm »
Typical dream of a guy is willing to make sacrifices for the girl...

When you gals reach my age, you will know that it is nothing but a dream...

Auntie nom talk bery chim....

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nomnom

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Re: Long distance relationship
« Reply #12 on: November 03, 2015, 08:23:38 pm »
Auntie nom talk bery chim....

Where got chim?
TS should go out and meet more guys! And please don't compare other guys to him. Coz you like him so much, there will never be someone who you think can match up to him.
Instead, go out and meet more guys and discover their strengths.
It will be difficult initially... but just try lah...

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beaverjuice

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Re: Long distance relationship
« Reply #13 on: November 06, 2015, 12:10:21 pm »
For girls, you all think too much. For guys, it is a matter or worth or not worth for us to do it. I don't want to say this is an investment for us guys, but we have to weight against our career and other important aspects in life other than a thing like r/s. Not to mention a LDR which seems dark. If I am crazily in love with other cat that even my owner chain me I also will bite and break free lor...

I want to break free .... i want to break freeeeeeeee ....  :P :P :P
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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FatNeko

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Re: Long distance relationship
« Reply #14 on: November 06, 2015, 10:11:28 pm »
I want to break free .... i want to break freeeeeeeee ....  :P :P :P

who will come and free me~~