*

hopeful

  • *
  • Fresh Petal
  • 4 0
    • View Profile
Help needed, what is she thinking??
« on: June 05, 2018, 02:14:11 pm »
Hi everyone,

This is my first post, a repost since I posted it at the wrong section previously. My apologies!

I need advice especially from the ladies (I'm a dude) because of the situation I'm in. I actually like this girl at my office. It's a long story so I hope to have your patience. I'm not sure if bringing up her race or nationality matters, maybe it might because of cultural differences, anyway she's Japanese. We hardly talk at all. I like her and I think she noticed me secretly looking at her one day and started behaving differently since then. This is the first phase.

She started to look at me pretty often and whenever we are in close proximity she would obviously become more shy, like looking up and away or purposely gazing at her phone. Previously before she caught me looking at her she was never like that, she regarded me as another mere colleague, so it's a huge difference in behaviour that I noticed.

Now, the second phase. One day I caught her looking at me instead. She was smiling widely when she did. Now we didn't even talk or formally introduce ourselves up till then so it would've been awkward to smile like that. I just happened to look up from my desk at that time and saw her smiling at me and instantly her expression froze - like an oh poot! kind of froze - and she quickly turned away. Since then her behaviour changed again, now the third phase begins.

She would be extremely shy or embarrassed whenever I approach since then. And it was very obvious. Like when we were entering the office and I held the door open, she quickly walked away into the pantry. Or when I enter the lift and she realizes I'm in she quickly takes up her phone and stares at it with that oh poot! kind of expression. Basically any time I'm nearby she quickly looks at the ground. I did try to chat her up around this time but she was very uncomfortable. But again, I knew she was secretly looking at me every now and then. After a month or so of her extreme shyness now comes the fourth and current phase. Bear with me lol!

Only just 2 weeks ago I noticed she stopped acting so embarrassed and shy and had become more calm. No more oh poot! kind of look from her. Again she did dart her eyes at me now and then and quickly looked away whenever I look back, but she no longer was shy. I actually bumped into her and she talked to me like everything's normal. I was happy. And especially because she took the effort to not be so shy and allow me to talk to her normally.

I thought she might be interested in me so that's when I texted her to ask if she's free to go out for lunch but she didn't reply. I asked twice, she didn't reply. I added her on facebook, she accepted my request within 5 minutes and I texted her there (not to ask her out again but just to say thanks for connecting in a cheerful way) but she didn't reply. Now I'm left wondering what she thinks.

I'm not an expert in romance and dating so I appreciate any opinions and comments on what she thinks. Is she interested but just shy or playing hard to get? Or have I been reading her behaviour wrongly and she's purely uninterested? She still looks at me every now and then but the part about not replying my texts creates some anxiety and I'm confused.

Please help this confused guy here and if I really am deluding myself into thinking and hoping she might still be interested, feel free to shoot !

*

happyshar

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 3051 19
    • View Profile
Re: Help needed, what is she thinking??
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2018, 03:55:10 pm »
Sometimes probably a person is attracted but they might not act on their feelings because either their stage of life does not allow it (is she living here or in jp) or she is attached.
没有心,就不会痛 😉

*

hopeful

  • *
  • Fresh Petal
  • 4 0
    • View Profile
Re: Help needed, what is she thinking??
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2018, 03:56:21 pm »
Sometimes probably a person is attracted but they might not act on their feelings because either their stage of life does not allow it (is she living here or in jp) or she is attached.

Thanks happyshar, she's living in SG, we work in the same office. She isn't attached.
« Last Edit: June 05, 2018, 04:09:49 pm by hopeful »

*

happyshar

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 3051 19
    • View Profile
Re: Help needed, what is she thinking??
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2018, 05:05:42 pm »
Thanks happyshar, she's living in SG, we work in the same office. She isn't attached.

You texted the correct number?
没有心,就不会痛 😉


*

hopeful

  • *
  • Fresh Petal
  • 4 0
    • View Profile
Re: Help needed, what is she thinking??
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2018, 05:16:14 pm »
You texted the correct number?

Lol. I texted her on office Skype and also Facebook :)

*

beaverjuice

  • *****
  • Global Moderator
  • 9293 18
  • Road to Perdition
    • View Profile
Re: Help needed, what is she thinking??
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2018, 07:08:33 pm »
Now is the time to give her the cold shoulder and act "disinterested" bro ...  8)
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

*

hopeful

  • *
  • Fresh Petal
  • 4 0
    • View Profile
Re: Help needed, what is she thinking??
« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2018, 09:02:26 am »
Now is the time to give her the cold shoulder and act "disinterested" bro ...  8)

Thanks that was what I was thinking too!

*

happyshar

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 3051 19
    • View Profile
Re: Help needed, what is she thinking??
« Reply #7 on: June 06, 2018, 05:10:26 pm »
Den if she mia after that? ???
Time to hit on other chicks?
没有心,就不会痛 😉

*

beaverjuice

  • *****
  • Global Moderator
  • 9293 18
  • Road to Perdition
    • View Profile
Re: Help needed, what is she thinking??
« Reply #8 on: June 06, 2018, 05:13:24 pm »
Den if she mia after that? ???
Time to hit on other chicks?

yup .... keep an eye on the prize .... never miss the forest for one tree ... gambatte !
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

*

princessbell

  • **
  • Junior Petal
  • 67 14
    • View Profile
Re: Help needed, what is she thinking??
« Reply #9 on: July 26, 2018, 05:41:59 pm »
I also encounter same problem, currently also hope to get help?

*

beaverjuice

  • *****
  • Global Moderator
  • 9293 18
  • Road to Perdition
    • View Profile
Re: Help needed, what is she thinking??
« Reply #10 on: July 26, 2018, 05:54:28 pm »
I also encounter same problem, currently also hope to get help?

Huh?!!! ... you are the Japanese girl?!!! .... wow the coincidence !!!  :o
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

*

happyshar

  • ****
  • Senior Petal
  • 3051 19
    • View Profile
Re: Help needed, what is she thinking??
« Reply #11 on: July 26, 2018, 07:58:38 pm »
Haha we don't hv psychic powers though.

没有心,就不会痛 😉

*

Missypika

  • **
  • Junior Petal
  • 52 0
    • View Profile
Re: Help needed, what is she thinking??
« Reply #12 on: July 26, 2018, 09:41:48 pm »
Hmm maybe she's interested too but shy?

Well maybe can try ask her for grp lunch? Together with other colleagues then slowly get to know her ? Easier to get to know someone in a grp setting , less pressure I guess. And no worry will run out of topics to talk abt?

how long have u known her?

« Last Edit: July 26, 2018, 09:48:43 pm by Missypika »

*

Ah Tiong

  • *
  • Fresh Petal
  • 47 0
    • View Profile
Re: Help needed, what is she thinking??
« Reply #13 on: July 31, 2018, 09:12:31 am »
Anyway it's better to be more tactical when trying to develop a relationship within your workplace.

I have bad experiences in the past.

*

beaverjuice

  • *****
  • Global Moderator
  • 9293 18
  • Road to Perdition
    • View Profile
Re: Help needed, what is she thinking??
« Reply #14 on: July 31, 2018, 11:48:40 am »
Anyway it's better to be more tactical when trying to develop a relationship within your workplace.

I have bad experiences in the past.

yupz .... they say "never to eat and sh!t in the same place"  .... I guess it applies to relationships

although I have an example of a successful relationship.... a female colleague got involved with her boss and got pregnant. 

boss divorced wife for her and now they live happily ever after ....
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."