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happyshar

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does gf become devalued after becoming wife?
« on: January 13, 2016, 08:53:02 pm »
recently chatted with a SAHM.
Just wondering the abv.
T or F?
没有心,就不会痛 😉

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beaverjuice

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Re: does gf become devalued after becoming wife?
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2016, 09:44:02 pm »
recently chatted with a SAHM.
Just wondering the abv.
T or F?
Well, if a gal doesn't take a stand before marriage, then her value will slowly be eroded after marriage.

Seriously, what is the perceived value? From her or his viewpoint? ??? What is of value to her, may not be valued highly by him.

For example, before marriage - he listens and hangs on to her every word.  after marriage, he listens selectively because she repeats herself .... so she feels downgraded whereas he feels that she is just too sensitive and naggy ....
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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idyllic

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Re: does gf become devalued after becoming wife?
« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2016, 11:08:24 pm »
I think it depends on individual. Every marriage is different. Probably also depends on how u maintain your marriage.
For me i married for almost 8years, but i haven't feel devalued yet.  :D

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poo42

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Re: does gf become devalued after becoming wife?
« Reply #3 on: January 14, 2016, 08:43:37 am »
Sometimes familiarity breeds contempt


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Piglet

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Re: does gf become devalued after becoming wife?
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2016, 09:33:18 am »
when still gf will treat you better married liao cannot run away easily so treated u like poot.

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Missmeowmeow

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Re: does gf become devalued after becoming wife?
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2016, 10:48:15 am »
No la.. Married also can divorce.. Don't treat u well also will run  ::)

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Piglet

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Re: does gf become devalued after becoming wife?
« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2016, 10:51:15 am »
No la.. Married also can divorce.. Don't treat u well also will run  ::)

ha... guy ma. think marriage liao can treat us like poot. but to be fair la, some girl also aft marriage become lazy.

I feel la, it is impt that you dun devalue urself. other can devalue you but u cannot devalue urself. if you dun be door mat how can a guy treat u like door mat

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beaverjuice

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Re: does gf become devalued after becoming wife?
« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2016, 10:57:12 am »
Sometimes familiarity breeds contempt

only if you allow it to .... once you let it settle.

like I said before - the law of entropy (3rd law of thermodynamics) applies to relationship too.

if no energy input by either parties,  "disorder" will be the result.

it is also a matter of perception - as I alluded to earlier.

how does your partner perceive his/her value,  if you know what those buttons are - then you need to press those right buttons.  :P ...... most times a kind word or a word of appreciation goes a long way in upping his/her perceived value.

"Thanks for keeping the house neat and tidy while I was away at work" makes a home-maker happy many many .....  ;)
« Last Edit: January 14, 2016, 12:38:48 pm by beaverjuice »
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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beaverjuice

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Re: does gf become devalued after becoming wife?
« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2016, 10:59:40 am »
when still gf will treat you better married liao cannot run away easily so treated u like poot.

I think most couples fall into this trap.  not intentionally of course but letting things slide after marriage is a common cause.  last time bgr that time must be on best behavior, after signing on dotted line liao can heck care .....   :(

must open eyes big big and have high standards for SO ..... don't just anyhow compromise unless you can accept (and forever hold your peace).
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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beaverjuice

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Re: does gf become devalued after becoming wife?
« Reply #9 on: January 14, 2016, 11:24:36 am »
No la.. Married also can divorce.. Don't treat u well also will run  ::)

ermmmm .... people shouldn't take divorce lightly!  people should take marriage seriously.

frankly if a gal has "chin-chai" standards and can "chin-chai" accept the guys quality,  then on what grounds has she to complain?
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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Piglet

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Re: does gf become devalued after becoming wife?
« Reply #10 on: January 14, 2016, 11:40:35 am »
divorce is the most easiest way out when no kid is involve.

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beaverjuice

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Re: does gf become devalued after becoming wife?
« Reply #11 on: January 14, 2016, 11:43:01 am »
divorce is the most easiest way out when no kid is involve.
then marriage vows is for fun?
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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Piglet

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Re: does gf become devalued after becoming wife?
« Reply #12 on: January 14, 2016, 12:03:23 pm »
then marriage vows is for fun?

to the people now the vows is for fun. that y divorce rate is so high now

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simplistic

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Re: does gf become devalued after becoming wife?
« Reply #13 on: January 14, 2016, 12:24:52 pm »
should change the vow from "till death do us part" to "till unhappiness do us part"

How many of the people still hold on to marriage when problems arises... :(

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beaverjuice

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Re: does gf become devalued after becoming wife?
« Reply #14 on: January 14, 2016, 12:39:59 pm »
it's a "millennial" thinking - only me ! me ! me ! .... instant gratification ... the "now" that all matters .... :(
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."