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migration

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Cohibiting or sleeping together before marriage
« on: October 16, 2015, 09:08:29 am »
I've talked to a few single gals in late 20s and early 30s. They expressively says they NEED to cohibit or sleep with their potential future husband before marriage?

Only one gal gives me reason though. She says need to cohibit in order to "find out" if the guy smells, is unhygenic, can do house work. And when I say well, can stay in the same house but different rooms right? She says no, cohibit means sleeping on same bed already. Anyway, my logical character tells me that this gal in early 30s is still in her dreamy land.

True? What are other reasons to cohibit or sleep together before marriage?
« Last Edit: October 16, 2015, 09:10:10 am by migration »
Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.

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brightblueflower

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Re: Cohibiting or sleeping together before marriage
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2015, 09:22:50 am »
I don't know about the NEED to do so but my husband and I did live together before we got married. Found out more about each others' weaknesses and habits. At first I was a little embarrassed about this... but after talking to my girlfriends, I found out that we weren't the only ones. and eventually all of them got married as well.

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darkjenn

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Re: Cohibiting or sleeping together before marriage
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2015, 09:24:21 am »
  • if you truly love each other
  • cannot stand being apart from each other
  • parents are fine with it (most difficult)
  • he respects your body and your decisions (most important)
  • only if you both intend to get married
« Last Edit: October 16, 2015, 09:29:57 am by darkjenn »

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ManOfTheHour

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Re: Cohibiting or sleeping together before marriage
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2015, 09:28:51 am »
Basically they just wanna be close to each other.
Of cos hot sex inclusive.


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Commach

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Re: Cohibiting or sleeping together before marriage
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2015, 09:29:59 am »
I've talked to a few single gals in late 20s and early 30s. They expressively says they NEED to cohibit or sleep with their potential future husband before marriage?

Only one gal gives me reason though. She says need to cohibit in order to "find out" if the guy smells, is unhygenic, can do house work. And when I say well, can stay in the same house but different rooms right? She says no, cohibit means sleeping on same bed already. Anyway, my logical character tells me that this gal in early 30s is still in her dreamy land.

True? What are other reasons to cohibit or sleep together before marriage?

you said the gals said so? or is that their polite way of REJECTING? :)

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Wu Mei Niang

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Re: Cohibiting or sleeping together before marriage
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2015, 09:31:49 am »
They want to see if they could get along in the daily life before proceeding for long term committement

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ShuperStar

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Re: Cohibiting or sleeping together before marriage
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2015, 09:33:47 am »
Actually I find it better this way, rather than marry later and stay together later to find out all the weird personal habits/traits and regret. I have few friends who file for divorce because of that.  :(
The name ShuperStar is derived from the words Shoe (“Shu”) and Superstar, because we want everyone who wears our shoes to be the star attraction – a ShuperStar!

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t0rnado

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Re: Cohibiting or sleeping together before marriage
« Reply #7 on: October 16, 2015, 09:38:32 am »
Basically is just like test run before the real thing

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migration

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Re: Cohibiting or sleeping together before marriage
« Reply #8 on: October 16, 2015, 10:39:21 am »
you said the gals said so? or is that their polite way of REJECTING? :)
Huh, don't get u leh? Rejecting what?

They are my friends and I'm not going after them.
Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.

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brightblueflower

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Re: Cohibiting or sleeping together before marriage
« Reply #9 on: October 16, 2015, 10:40:57 am »
Actually I find it better this way, rather than marry later and stay together later to find out all the weird personal habits/traits and regret. I have few friends who file for divorce because of that.  :(

like snoring! or... generally unhygienic practices. or even expectations of roles in a house.

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migration

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Re: Cohibiting or sleeping together before marriage
« Reply #10 on: October 16, 2015, 10:43:09 am »
Actually I find it better this way, rather than marry later and stay together later to find out all the weird personal habits/traits and regret. I have few friends who file for divorce because of that.  :(
Can list a few weird habits or traits that leads to divorce?

My gal friend who says her married friend very jialat. Husband don't do household chore at all. I say not a problem mah... if salary can afford then hire maid to help lor. But it seems that this option don't sink into her... she repeat again and repeat again that future husband must help with household chore.
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migration

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Re: Cohibiting or sleeping together before marriage
« Reply #11 on: October 16, 2015, 10:52:15 am »
like snoring! or... generally unhygienic practices. or even expectations of roles in a house.
snoring is uncontrollable right. that means the gals are looking for a perfect guy?

it's just like guy rejecting gals over small boobs or even not pretty face. boob size and pretty face are uncontrollable by individual too. and these guys are sometimes labelled as lame or shallow?

hmm... seems like guys and gals really have different thinking process. and don't get me wrong... I'm not bashing... but speaking aloud to exchange ideas :)
Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.

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brightblueflower

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Re: Cohibiting or sleeping together before marriage
« Reply #12 on: October 16, 2015, 10:54:26 am »
snoring is uncontrollable right. that means the gals are looking for a perfect guy?

it's just like guy rejecting gals over small boobs or even not pretty face. boob size and pretty face are uncontrollable by individual too. and these guys are sometimes labelled as lame or shallow?

hmm... seems like guys and gals really have different thinking process. and don't get me wrong... I'm not bashing... but speaking aloud to exchange ideas :)

its every night for the rest of your life. if you are a heavy sleeper, it might not be so bad... but imagine if you are a light sleeper!

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JFlower

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Re: Cohibiting or sleeping together before marriage
« Reply #13 on: October 16, 2015, 11:00:50 am »
well its like a "trial" before actually staying together after marriage.

and there are certain "pattern/traits" that will surface only after staying with each other.
Losing faith

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Mach3.2

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Re: Cohibiting or sleeping together before marriage
« Reply #14 on: October 16, 2015, 11:07:28 am »
its every night for the rest of your life. if you are a heavy sleeper, it might not be so bad... but imagine if you are a light sleeper!
Being in a relationship is about compromises, I'm not being judgmental but if you're really having issues with the snoring, I suggest you reevaluate your current position and objectives.