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PikAgasm

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Cheating or white lie?
« on: October 22, 2015, 05:49:41 pm »
I used to have this quite good looking colleague which my SO dislikes (SO tend to dislike good looking girl that hangs around me). Whenever I told my SO I had lunch with this colleague she gets pretty upset about it but my colleague is unaware of this.

So there was once my colleague invited me to a TGIF drink. As I had nothing on on that day I agreed to her invitation, afterall its just a drink and chillout session after a week of hardwork.

The issue arise here as I know if I were to tell my SO i went for a drink with this colleague she would get upset about it. So in the end my decision was to tell her I went to drink with my buddy (Male of course) instead.

Do u think what I've done here is wrong? Is this considered cheating or telling a white lie? I know if I had told her the truth we would end up having a quarrel.  :(


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JFlower

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Re: Cheating or white lie?
« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2015, 06:01:51 pm »
hmm just put yourself in her shoes.

how would you feel? :(
Losing faith

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Piglet

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Re: Cheating or white lie?
« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2015, 06:15:07 pm »
Will you like if ur SO lies to u? Since she dun like that females coll, just dun hang out with her la. Plus there must be a reason Y she dislike that girl so much.

actually if you want you can let ur SO join in the gathering. plus hell will break lose if she find out the truth one day. she will overthink thing even more

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~老婆餅~

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Re: Cheating or white lie?
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2015, 06:22:59 pm »
Very tricky situation. Some SO can be really possessive. While sometimes is the person tells too much white lie/keep too much secrets. So really dunno who's right who's wrong. R/s is based on trust, because when there is full trust situations like this will not happen liao.
~I come here in peace~ *holds up white flag*


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PikAgasm

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Re: Cheating or white lie?
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2015, 06:32:33 pm »
Will you like if ur SO lies to u? Since she dun like that females coll, just dun hang out with her la. Plus there must be a reason Y she dislike that girl so much.

actually if you want you can let ur SO join in the gathering. plus hell will break lose if she find out the truth one day. she will overthink thing even more

I hang out with her because we are quite close working partners. Knowing her well she will not want to join as she really dislike her. She will probably feel paranoid the whole night if I had told her I am out with my colleague. Thats why I'm in a dilemma at handling this situation.

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PikAgasm

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Re: Cheating or white lie?
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2015, 06:33:42 pm »
Very tricky situation. Some SO can be really possessive. While sometimes is the person tells too much white lie/keep too much secrets. So really dunno who's right who's wrong. R/s is based on trust, because when there is full trust situations like this will not happen liao.

Not really possessive but more of jealousy. She do trust me i think but she doesn't trust my colleague.

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Re: Cheating or white lie?
« Reply #6 on: October 22, 2015, 06:36:05 pm »
Not really possessive but more of jealousy. She do trust me i think but she doesn't trust my colleague.

Haha I also kena that a lot :(

my SO machiam SAF MP, can sudden surprise phone check one ;D

Let her check lo. She happy can liao
~I come here in peace~ *holds up white flag*

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FainantFairy

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Re: Cheating or white lie?
« Reply #7 on: October 22, 2015, 07:34:15 pm »
I guess the best stance is to be OK with being checked but also know that your SO trusts you and won't check.

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littlesotong

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Re: Cheating or white lie?
« Reply #8 on: October 22, 2015, 07:37:06 pm »
not healthy, might evolve into emotional cheating eventually.

read up more here:
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Emotional-Affairs-Recognizing-and-Coping-With-Emotional-Infidelity
chronicles of a baby sotong & the deep sea diver

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PikAgasm

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Re: Cheating or white lie?
« Reply #9 on: October 22, 2015, 08:50:23 pm »
Haha I also kena that a lot :(

my SO machiam SAF MP, can sudden surprise phone check one ;D

Let her check lo. She happy can liao

My SO always like to peep at who I msging with.

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nomnom

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Re: Cheating or white lie?
« Reply #10 on: October 22, 2015, 09:01:35 pm »
I used to have this quite good looking colleague which my SO dislikes (SO tend to dislike good looking girl that hangs around me). Whenever I told my SO I had lunch with this colleague she gets pretty upset about it but my colleague is unaware of this.

So there was once my colleague invited me to a TGIF drink. As I had nothing on on that day I agreed to her invitation, afterall its just a drink and chillout session after a week of hardwork.

The issue arise here as I know if I were to tell my SO i went for a drink with this colleague she would get upset about it. So in the end my decision was to tell her I went to drink with my buddy (Male of course) instead.

Do u think what I've done here is wrong? Is this considered cheating or telling a white lie? I know if I had told her the truth we would end up having a quarrel.  :(

What if the roles are reversed now?
Your gf has this handsome looking colleague whom she gets along with very well and you don't like him at all.
Then she went out with him for a TGIF drink.
How will you feel?

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Piglet

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Re: Cheating or white lie?
« Reply #11 on: October 23, 2015, 09:35:47 am »
I hang out with her because we are quite close working partners. Knowing her well she will not want to join as she really dislike her. She will probably feel paranoid the whole night if I had told her I am out with my colleague. Thats why I'm in a dilemma at handling this situation.

letting her be paranoid is better than let her catch in going out with the girl, that time it will not only be paranoid. it will be distrust, angry, upset. she dun like to hang out with her you still can ask her join, this show there nothing between you ppl.

one curious qns, that coll interested in you?

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PikAgasm

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Re: Cheating or white lie?
« Reply #12 on: October 23, 2015, 11:04:15 am »
letting her be paranoid is better than let her catch in going out with the girl, that time it will not only be paranoid. it will be distrust, angry, upset. she dun like to hang out with her you still can ask her join, this show there nothing between you ppl.

one curious qns, that coll interested in you?

I'm not sure if she is interested in me but she has a BF. She is kind of touchy with me when drinking though. We always chat about our SO, so both of us is quite clear we are attached.

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Piglet

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Re: Cheating or white lie?
« Reply #13 on: October 23, 2015, 11:16:10 am »
I'm not sure if she is interested in me but she has a BF. She is kind of touchy with me when drinking though. We always chat about our SO, so both of us is quite clear we are attached.

than should just let both ur SO join la. since there nothing between you ppl. let both party SO an xin. to be nasty. both of you attached does not mean anything if both party is interested in each other

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PikAgasm

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Re: Cheating or white lie?
« Reply #14 on: October 23, 2015, 01:14:31 pm »
not healthy, might evolve into emotional cheating eventually.

read up more here:
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Emotional-Affairs-Recognizing-and-Coping-With-Emotional-Infidelity

Thanks for the article. Good read.  :)