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PikAgasm

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[HELP] Just broke up with gf of 4 yrs .....
« on: October 15, 2015, 03:14:14 am »
Hi I am a guy here. Recently I have broken with my gf of 4 years.

Wanted to move on by cutting all contacts with my ex, however she insisted that we should remain as friends. She also stated that she can provide a listening ear and I can always look for her if I need any help. However, she also stated that she had moved on and hope these action will not confuse my feelings as she treats all her friends this way. At the same time she still spoke of our happy memories together.

Why is she doing this? I am so confused. Can the ladies here provide some views?  :(

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Lemon

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Re: [HELP] Just broke up with gf of 4 yrs .....
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2015, 07:04:16 am »
Hi I am a guy here. Recently I have broken with my gf of 4 years.

Wanted to move on by cutting all contacts with my ex, however she insisted that we should remain as friends. She also stated that she can provide a listening ear and I can always look for her if I need any help. However, she also stated that she had moved on and hope these action will not confuse my feelings as she treats all her friends this way. At the same time she still spoke of our happy memories together.

Why is she doing this? I am so confused. Can the ladies here provide some views?  :(

Probably she is still in the mid of moving on. No longer have feeling for you, but she is too used to your presence.

Give each other time and slowly will drift away.


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nizze

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Re: [HELP] Just broke up with gf of 4 yrs .....
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2015, 08:19:20 am »
Hi I am a guy here. Recently I have broken with my gf of 4 years.

Wanted to move on by cutting all contacts with my ex, however she insisted that we should remain as friends. She also stated that she can provide a listening ear and I can always look for her if I need any help. However, she also stated that she had moved on and hope these action will not confuse my feelings as she treats all her friends this way. At the same time she still spoke of our happy memories together.

Why is she doing this? I am so confused. Can the ladies here provide some views?  :(

Hi TS, was your parting mutual/amiable? Reason for asking being if it is an amiable parting, no harm remaining as friends, no need to cut off all contacts. As the saying goes, cannot be lovers can still be friends.

But if you are fresh out of the breakup, it is good to maintain a distance to give yourself time to get over the relationship. Perhaps after the healing stage, can still be friends.


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PikAgasm

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Re: [HELP] Just broke up with gf of 4 yrs .....
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2015, 11:43:48 am »
Hi TS, was your parting mutual/amiable? Reason for asking being if it is an amiable parting, no harm remaining as friends, no need to cut off all contacts. As the saying goes, cannot be lovers can still be friends.

But if you are fresh out of the breakup, it is good to maintain a distance to give yourself time to get over the relationship. Perhaps after the healing stage, can still be friends.

It was a mutual parting. But she seems to be constantly giving me hope by bringing up our memories (eg. Like I missed eating this with u, u used to do this for me etc).


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nizze

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Re: [HELP] Just broke up with gf of 4 yrs .....
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2015, 12:48:20 pm »
It was a mutual parting. But she seems to be constantly giving me hope by bringing up our memories (eg. Like I missed eating this with u, u used to do this for me etc).

Perhaps you can take a step back to maintain a distance, for your own sake.

 Perhaps she is still reminiscent of your times together, hence her actions may be slightly misleading  But you have to remind  yourself that  things are over and don't give yourself false hopes.

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loonzz

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Re: [HELP] Just broke up with gf of 4 yrs .....
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2015, 02:00:08 pm »
It was a mutual parting. But she seems to be constantly giving me hope by bringing up our memories (eg. Like I missed eating this with u, u used to do this for me etc).
If I were you, I would stop any contact with her. it seems she is using you and keeping you in check until she gets a new bf. When that time comes, you will only get yourself hurt. Ur call....

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pencil-leads

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Re: [HELP] Just broke up with gf of 4 yrs .....
« Reply #6 on: October 15, 2015, 03:49:15 pm »
should cut the contact. don't let her make use of you
Website: http://sh-porter.com
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PikAgasm

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Re: [HELP] Just broke up with gf of 4 yrs .....
« Reply #7 on: October 15, 2015, 06:49:22 pm »
Thanks for all the advice. I will considering cutting contacts :)

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t0rnado

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Re: [HELP] Just broke up with gf of 4 yrs .....
« Reply #8 on: October 15, 2015, 06:54:08 pm »
It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.'
TC

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bunnyrabbit

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Re: [HELP] Just broke up with gf of 4 yrs .....
« Reply #9 on: October 17, 2015, 11:18:04 am »
Get away from her fast! She is just using you as spare tyre!

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foxfoo

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Re: [HELP] Just broke up with gf of 4 yrs .....
« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2015, 01:56:33 pm »
Hi I am a guy here. Recently I have broken with my gf of 4 years.

Wanted to move on by cutting all contacts with my ex, however she insisted that we should remain as friends. She also stated that she can provide a listening ear and I can always look for her if I need any help. However, she also stated that she had moved on and hope these action will not confuse my feelings as she treats all her friends this way. At the same time she still spoke of our happy memories together.

Why is she doing this? I am so confused. Can the ladies here provide some views?  :(


Memories are as what it should be, just memories, an emotional graveyard.

This situation spans into 2 school of thought:
1)break up can still maintain friendship
2)break up & no contact

while the former really sounds cool, sometimes either one party might hope or harbour the thought of re- concillation. plus, it might sound like a good idea to keeping the friendship as:
1)The ex knows you, so sometimes by sharing recent events they can relate & even share advices
2)A friend more better than a stranger, or even worse, enemy.

Some people go for a clean break, a fresh slate to move on, to start something new again. The more important question drives down to how much can both parties stayed committed to just being friends?

Because that's also where relationship begins, from starting as friends.
"Great people talk about ideas, Mediocre people talk about events , Small people talk about people."

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~老婆餅~

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Re: [HELP] Just broke up with gf of 4 yrs .....
« Reply #11 on: October 19, 2015, 02:39:05 pm »
Cut contacts if possible. Keeping in contact didn't end well for my case (can't elaborate more)  :(
~I come here in peace~ *holds up white flag*

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Piglet

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Re: [HELP] Just broke up with gf of 4 yrs .....
« Reply #12 on: October 19, 2015, 05:30:16 pm »
the girl is just using you. better stay away fr her

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PikAgasm

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Re: [HELP] Just broke up with gf of 4 yrs .....
« Reply #13 on: October 19, 2015, 05:30:47 pm »

Memories are as what it should be, just memories, an emotional graveyard.

This situation spans into 2 school of thought:
1)break up can still maintain friendship
2)break up & no contact

while the former really sounds cool, sometimes either one party might hope or harbour the thought of re- concillation. plus, it might sound like a good idea to keeping the friendship as:
1)The ex knows you, so sometimes by sharing recent events they can relate & even share advices
2)A friend more better than a stranger, or even worse, enemy.


Some people go for a clean break, a fresh slate to move on, to start something new again. The more important question drives down to how much can both parties stayed committed to just being friends?

Because that's also where relationship begins, from starting as friends.

That's the part I am confused about. She stated during the break up that she had moved on but she would like to maintain our friendship. However, during our normal conversation, she tends to bring up the past memories (eg. I used to be happy doing this, but now it feels different.). Once, she even asked if i had regretted my decision to break up with her.

Like you said, sometimes I felt she is just treating me as a very good friend whereby she can share and relate recent events to me but sometimes I felt that she is trying to hint something to me. All these seems so contradicting.  :(

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Piglet

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Re: [HELP] Just broke up with gf of 4 yrs .....
« Reply #14 on: October 19, 2015, 05:33:04 pm »
That's the part I am confused about. She stated during the break up that she had moved on but she would like to maintain our friendship. However, during our normal conversation, she tends to bring up the past memories (eg. I used to be happy doing this, but now it feels different.). Once, she even asked if i had regretted my decision to break up with her.

Like you said, sometimes I felt she is just treating me as a very good friend whereby she can share and relate recent events to me but sometimes I felt that she is trying to hint something to me. All these seems so contradicting.  :(

ask for patch back , see her reaction. if she reject mean she just using you. such a person better stay away fr her