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cherubcove

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Just to clarify, I am a guy.
Over the past few years, I have helped my friends to step out of their comfort zones to socialise, to know more people, to date, and get married.
In many forums (i used different nicks) such as at EDMW etc, I have try my best to give advice to guys and girls who are not so comfortable in getting to know the opposite sex. So i decided to write out formally and help out ladies and guys who wants to get out of their lonely-zone.

I think dating is not difficult, but it is not instinctively easy too. Girls and guys tend to make the same mistakes especially for those who are so not used to taking the first step.

Meeting New Friends

Let me share with you this easy step to know more people - WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY?

For those who just want to start making friends, https://www.meetup.com/ is a great way to meet people of the same hobby. Preferably you do not go there just to meet opposite sex, if you enjoy your hobby, meeting the opposite gender is just an extra bonus.

For example, say you like to sing songs, so you can find KTV groups near you and meet up with like-minded people.

For those who want to go for dating apps or websites to immediately find like-minded people who wanna date. do NOT go for Tinder. Tinder is usually full of non-serious people who are just looking for hookups.

Dating App

I would suggest googling for "Coffee Meet Bagels"
Okcupid.com
match.com

These are casual ways of meeting more friends.

Please be sincere and cheerful in your profile. You do not have to lie, but do not write down stuff that bores people. People are interested in your outlook, your future plans and hobbies.
For example, ladies would be interested to know what are your plans for the futures. They usually want serious candidates to date, and if your profile states that you just want to have fun and #yolo, not many people will reply to you.

For ladies, please do write more on your current life and hobbies too. Tone down on your expectations. Many guys may have not  the best first-impression (many guys suck at this), but do give them some chances to talk and chat and you may be pleasantly surprised at the better impression.
If the chances become a bad or sad experience, at least you have a story to share!

Whatever your gender, think hard, what is that one thing in your life that may interests people to chat with you? For example, you may love video games, but unless you are exceptionally making a career out of it, not many people are interested to talk to you about video games. Perhaps you have something else? Something like a passion for spicy food? Or a desire to travel to Japan?

It may not be something that you are doing, maybe you are thinking of exploring Yoga or learning tennis?

Put on a few best current photos of yours! Do not need to photoshop nor touch up. Just use a few best photos of your life. People want to see you happy and enjoying! :)
Or if you have a photo that shows your character, do it.

Next post I will share on what ladies and guys should do to text the others in dating websites :)

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cherubcove

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Re: [AMA] Dating 101s. For Guys or girls who is clueless on how to date
« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2018, 11:59:05 am »
how to message someone on dating site app website?

For ladies, this is actually easier for you. Most ladies will be flooded with many messages from guys, so this may not be an issue since you have many replies.
But if you do see a guy that you feel comfortable and happy reading his profile, then do take the first step to message him!
We are going year 2020 soon, so we are a progressive society, a first message to get to know someone is friendly and well appreciated.

For guys and ladies, do note some pointers for messaging someone on a dating app.
1) Do not just text one liner. The worst is a "Hi" and then you expect someone to reply?
Guys, most ladies receive tens of message daily, your "hi" will not be on her radar.
And it is so insincere.

2) A simple greeting with something that grabs her attention, a short introduction of yourself, and a reason why you message her and what is your intention, and ends with your name

Hi Patricia,
I saw your bowling photos and is bowled over =)
I am James, 32yo, working as an IT professional currently.

I saw your profile and you look really cheerful in your bowling attire. It seems like you enjoy bowling! I personally have not bowled for ages, but I am curious on how to get started. Bowling seems really fun. How often do you bowl?

Hope can chat with you more!
sincerely,
James


PS: and i guess you love to travel a lot too?

___________________________________


this format is not a standard, but it is the basic of what you should do. Of course deviation is fine, just as long as you are polite, interesting.
Do not panic or get sad if she does not reply. There are tons of people out there messaging each other, and you may not be a suitable match, hence she / he does not reply.
Just message the next person =)

Have a good fun time!

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cherubcove

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Re: [AMA] Dating 101s. For Guys or girls who is clueless on how to date
« Reply #2 on: August 23, 2018, 11:59:15 am »
reserved

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cherubcove

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Re: [AMA] Dating 101s. For Guys or girls who is clueless on how to date
« Reply #3 on: August 23, 2018, 11:59:27 am »
reserved


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beaverjuice

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Re: [AMA] Dating 101s. For Guys or girls who is clueless on how to date
« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2018, 12:32:39 pm »
Just want to add that talking about your NS experience is a surefire way to bore your date to tears ....  definitely won't score 3rd base and even 2nd dates are remote unless she is hard of hearing or is recently gender reassigned....
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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cheesecake

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Re: [AMA] Dating 101s. For Guys or girls who is clueless on how to date
« Reply #5 on: August 27, 2018, 02:29:42 pm »
Just want to add that talking about your NS experience is a surefire way to bore your date to tears ....  definitely won't score 3rd base and even 2nd dates are remote unless she is hard of hearing or is recently gender reassigned....

yah man. please don't tell us about your NS life.
men- pls be active listeners. we need that in our lives!

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gouki2017

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Re: [AMA] Dating 101s. For Guys or girls who is clueless on how to date
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2018, 05:31:13 pm »
how to message someone on dating site app website?

For ladies, this is actually easier for you. Most ladies will be flooded with many messages from guys, so this may not be an issue since you have many replies.
But if you do see a guy that you feel comfortable and happy reading his profile, then do take the first step to message him!
We are going year 2020 soon, so we are a progressive society, a first message to get to know someone is friendly and well appreciated.

For guys and ladies, do note some pointers for messaging someone on a dating app.
1) Do not just text one liner. The worst is a "Hi" and then you expect someone to reply?
Guys, most ladies receive tens of message daily, your "hi" will not be on her radar.
And it is so insincere.

2) A simple greeting with something that grabs her attention, a short introduction of yourself, and a reason why you message her and what is your intention, and ends with your name

Hi Patricia,
I saw your bowling photos and is bowled over =)
I am James, 32yo, working as an IT professional currently.

I saw your profile and you look really cheerful in your bowling attire. It seems like you enjoy bowling! I personally have not bowled for ages, but I am curious on how to get started. Bowling seems really fun. How often do you bowl?

Hope can chat with you more!
sincerely,
James


PS: and i guess you love to travel a lot too?

___________________________________


this format is not a standard, but it is the basic of what you should do. Of course deviation is fine, just as long as you are polite, interesting.
Do not panic or get sad if she does not reply. There are tons of people out there messaging each other, and you may not be a suitable match, hence she / he does not reply.
Just message the next person =)

Have a good fun time!
This could be useful, I will try it if I need it  :P thanks for the guide  8)

Just want to add that talking about your NS experience is a surefire way to bore your date to tears ....  definitely won't score 3rd base and even 2nd dates are remote unless she is hard of hearing or is recently gender reassigned....
But what if the girl happens to have sign up for NS too?  ???
« Last Edit: September 11, 2018, 06:35:31 pm by gouki2017 »

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beaverjuice

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Re: [AMA] Dating 101s. For Guys or girls who is clueless on how to date
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2018, 11:16:37 am »
But what if the girl happens to have sign up for NS too?  ???

This kind like it rough and dirty de.... can bring to hawker centre and mountain climbing,  pitch tents for dates
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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cherubcove

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Re: [AMA] Dating 101s. For Guys or girls who is clueless on how to date
« Reply #8 on: September 13, 2018, 12:17:12 pm »
This kind like it rough and dirty de.... can bring to hawker centre and mountain climbing,  pitch tents for dates

even girls who prefer outdoors and adventures like to be pampered and treated nicely too =)
on a first date, probably safer not to suggest hawker centres to avoid wrong impression.
Do not have to be an expensive restaurant

Can just suggest a casual restaurant like Din Tai fung or Ajisen Ramen etc... bill should be less than $50 for two person?
Or if u prefer much lower budget, maybe some unique fast food like 4Fingers or MOS?

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beaverjuice

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Re: [AMA] Dating 101s. For Guys or girls who is clueless on how to date
« Reply #9 on: September 13, 2018, 03:28:06 pm »
even girls who prefer outdoors and adventures like to be pampered and treated nicely too =)
on a first date, probably safer not to suggest hawker centres to avoid wrong impression.
Do not have to be an expensive restaurant

Can just suggest a casual restaurant like Din Tai fung or Ajisen Ramen etc... bill should be less than $50 for two person?
Or if u prefer much lower budget, maybe some unique fast food like 4Fingers or MOS?

I meant it in a tongue-in-cheek humour ...  :P

Also pitching tent is amongst many innuendos in that sentence ...  :-X
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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gouki2017

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Re: [AMA] Dating 101s. For Guys or girls who is clueless on how to date
« Reply #10 on: September 16, 2018, 05:16:56 pm »
on a first date, probably safer not to suggest hawker centres to avoid wrong impression.
If I have my first date, I plan to take her to hawker centres, but I don't know what does it mean by wrong impression? ???

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beaverjuice

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Re: [AMA] Dating 101s. For Guys or girls who is clueless on how to date
« Reply #11 on: September 16, 2018, 05:52:04 pm »
If I have my first date, I plan to take her to hawker centres, but I don't know what does it mean by wrong impression? ???

Not the right move bro ....

Even if a girl is not high maintenance type,  she will look at your effort bro .... putting in effort on first date to make the right impressions is essential.  You are judge by those moments .....

The first date is the "make or break" moment ....

Hawker centre plans can come later on but you need to make the first score first.

I always wear a sports jacket or top half of business suit if i can .... worth the investment for 2nd and 3rd base.

Need not be a fancy restaurant if it is below your budget but definitely no hawker centre and NS talk.

At the least, try a gastro-bar like Wine-Connection where your date will be impressed at your coolness and hipness.

Or those specialized dessert cafe like Tiramisu Hero ...



PS: not a plug for Peggy Chiang ....
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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happyshar

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Re: [AMA] Dating 101s. For Guys or girls who is clueless on how to date
« Reply #12 on: September 21, 2018, 07:00:19 pm »
This kind like it rough and dirty de.... can bring to hawker centre and mountain climbing,  pitch tents for dates

Hawker centre so crowded,
Mountain climbing so sweaty..
Pitch tent place is best la
没有心,就不会痛 😉

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happyshar

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Re: [AMA] Dating 101s. For Guys or girls who is clueless on how to date
« Reply #13 on: September 21, 2018, 07:01:40 pm »
Not the right move bro ....

Even if a girl is not high maintenance type,  she will look at your effort bro .... putting in effort on first date to make the right impressions is essential.  You are judge by those moments .....

The first date is the "make or break" moment ....

Hawker centre plans can come later on but you need to make the first score first.

I always wear a sports jacket or top half of business suit if i can .... worth the investment for 2nd and 3rd base.

Need not be a fancy restaurant if it is below your budget but definitely no hawker centre and NS talk.

At the least, try a gastro-bar like Wine-Connection where your date will be impressed at your coolness and hipness.

Or those specialized dessert cafe like Tiramisu Hero ...



PS: not a plug for Peggy Chiang ....

But always rmb once a benchmark is set, it cannot go lower









Nowadays dating is like formal job interview like dat, must write so formal letter.. ???
« Last Edit: September 21, 2018, 07:05:53 pm by happyshar »
没有心,就不会痛 😉

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beaverjuice

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Re: [AMA] Dating 101s. For Guys or girls who is clueless on how to date
« Reply #14 on: September 21, 2018, 07:23:48 pm »
Hawker centre so crowded,
Mountain climbing so sweaty..
Pitch tent place is best la

Because can hei sho hei sho izzzziiiiiiiiiit ? ???  :o >:(
"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach."

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